My mom suffered a stroke in July, 2010. After spending three months in a nursing rehabilitation hospital, she was discharged into my home care. She insists someone sleeps next to her every night at bedtime. My younger sister has taken upon this task six nights a week and I do the seventh night.
We have tried everything to get her used to sleeping back in her own bed but nothing works. The home attendant only lets her nap for an hour during the day. she also demands that the television and all bedroom lights be kept on throughout the night. The doctor recommended a light sleeping pill but my mom wants no part of it due to her other medical issues such as diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. Both of us are working professionals that require early morning working travel.
We love our mom dearly but we're "pooped"
Please help.
Sleepless in Queens, New York
You may not want to hear this answer. Your daughter may NOT sleep with your mother. You may not either. This is a transition she is making and you don't help with coddling. Her demands are totally outrageous. Sorry, told you you wouldn't like this response. You have taken her into your home and she needs to get a grasp on what is real in this new reality. You all seem to have guilt or you wouldn't sleep with her on a schedule. Sooner or later she is going to have to come to grips with sleeping alone. Get ready, it will be other things once she adjusts.
Once you've checked with her doctor and are able to receive assurance xxx sleeping aid won't interfere with your Mother's health--- crush up whatever aid her doctor suggests and mix it with a tiny amount of fluid, apple sauce, ice cream, etc. at an appropriate period before bed time. Do not tell your mother. Just give it to her. You ARE NOT being deceitful. Looking out for your own health at a younger age, your Mother likely did the same thing for you. You ARE in fact not only helping her health physically, mentally and emotionally, but you are taking a huge degree of stress off every other member of your family, as well.
Keep looking up...
V
I don't think sleeping with Mom is the real problem here. It's the lights and TV on all night is probably keeping you all from SLEEPING! Perhaps Mom would feel okay on her own at night if you used an intercom so that if she REALLY needs you at nigh she could easily talk with you. Then if she wants her light on it will only disturb her. They also make earphones for the TV now so that only the person wearing them will hear the TV. That combined with the earlier suggestion of a stuffed animal friend, may buy you all some quit nights in your own beds. Keeping a good thought that this works out for you! ♥