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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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WOW good luck, My daughter was caring for my parints and working. after my dad passed we had someone come in to care for my mom so my daughter could go to work. The money was running out so we got her into a daycare. OH boy it was a fight every morning. My mom has dementia so every day she ask the some questions. My daughter finaly had to quit her job. So if your Dad is fighting the daycare now he will probly fight it all the time.
This is a tough one for sure! I would suggest that your mom go with your dad a few times so he isn't going and feeling abandoned. Once he gets used the daily activities, the other folks and the activities assistants - he might come to like it! We have a day care program and that is one the best ways to get the person to come! I wish you the best in trying to understand a very difficult situation for everyone involved.
For starters- Don't call it daycare! Tell dad that he is going to the Club or that they need volunteers at the Club and you have signed him up because you will be volunteering too, Go a few times and have the staff send you on "errands"- go out a bit and then come back so he'll see that he's not being abandoned.Over time stretch the "errand" time out until it becomes a drop off pick up time only that you are at the "club". Make sure the staff is in on this and can reassure him that you will be coming back and how grateful they are that they have both of them "volunteering". Hope this works.
Nataly and Dotty have GREAT ideas. I fought with myself for the longest time because I felt taking her to a Day Care Center was doing Mom a dis-service. Finally I broke down and did it. Mom was extatic at having visited exclusively with people her own age and almost instantly began calling it her, 'Women's Club'... though several men were present. From that moment no one in my Mom's presence called it a DCC.
Moreover, the staff gave her a 'job' at the center folding towels, napkins, etc. and helping gather the dishes. That gave her a great sense of value. She believed she worked there and even tried to help other 'guests' if they need assistance in the bathroom. (Obviously in her zeal to be of service, the staff had to keep an eye on her being sure she wasn't too much of a help.)
Try both Nataly and Dotty's suggestions. Likely, the staff is already aware they must make an extra effort at making new people feel at home and feel wanted. During the initial private interview with the staff, make your concerns known to them. Who knows that your Dad might grow to not only enjoy, but look forward to going.
I agree with what everyone has stated so far. Mom has dementia and at first she didn't want to go. Now she loves it. It took awhile and we just took her. No debate, I stayed with her a bit, we only took her for a few hours at first. She needed to go, it is only 2 days a week, but they help give us a break. It is like taking a kid to daycare. You know what is best, you just need to persist. Good luck.
Same here...He didn't want to go but now looks forward to it. It is getting out, doing activities meeting folks there age and doing somethings during the day other than TV or sleeping...
Are you in Miami? You may tell him it is a recreational center and the first couple of times have him go with your mom. Once he gets familiarized with the people & the activities then she may start walking out & leaving him there until he feels comfortable to go by himself. If you are in Miami we can help you by bringing them in to our center.It is great.
I am in the process of getting my mother to go to a "CLUB" so my dad can have some time to do what he likes. My mom was a teaching Nurse for many years so I am planning on telling her she will be volunteering her time to help out. Also my sisters and I will be volunteering so that she will feel comfortable. This is such a hard time for her, and we all know it can be one of us down the road of life. I want to be as gentle as possible for her. I think what helps is remembering that they really are child like. Distraction works great and most times it goes right over their head instead of making them feel worse than they do. Best tip from me though is to be sure not to let them know, if they do something or say something wrong!
Tell him hes going to a "club", i hear that works. Or tell him they need volunteers, make sure they know you have told him this, i think they would rather be helping. Always think how you yourself Would feel cause it could happen to anyone of us. Good luck always!
Take him over, introduce him, get him used to the place. Tell him it is for a certain amount of time, then he comes back. Grandpa hated it at first, now enjoys going...
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My daughter was caring for my parints and working. after my dad passed we had someone come in to care for my mom so my daughter could go to work. The money was running out so we got her into a daycare. OH boy it was a fight every morning. My mom has dementia so every day she ask the some questions. My daughter finaly had to quit her job. So if your Dad is fighting the daycare now he will probly fight it all the time.
GOOD LUCK
Moreover, the staff gave her a 'job' at the center folding towels, napkins, etc. and helping gather the dishes. That gave her a great sense of value. She believed she worked there and even tried to help other 'guests' if they need assistance in the bathroom. (Obviously in her zeal to be of service, the staff had to keep an eye on her being sure she wasn't too much of a help.)
Try both Nataly and Dotty's suggestions. Likely, the staff is already aware they must make an extra effort at making new people feel at home and feel wanted. During the initial private interview with the staff, make your concerns known to them. Who knows that your Dad might grow to not only enjoy, but look forward to going.
Good luck...
V
Or tell him they need volunteers, make sure they know you have told him this, i think they would rather be helping. Always think how you yourself
Would feel cause it could happen to anyone of us.
Good luck always!