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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Dear Jan, Unfortunately, you can only controll your actions, not your sister's. Talk to her and give best try to convince her your mother needs her and wants to see her. If she refuses, that's as far as you can go. Please don't wasted precious emotional engery on something that's not going to change. It will be your sister who bears the guilt of her decision. Be strong and stay committed to yur mother and let your sister walk her own path. Good Luck. SM
My mother-in-law is also in an asst living facility. Due to her dementia which is causing her short term memory to go 'belly up' she can't remember who calls and who doesn't anyway. Usually she says that 'nobody calls me' but that's NOT true, she just can't remember. So as your mother's dementia progresses, it won't matter if your sister calls her or not. I read in your profile that you have to remind your sister to send the check. First of all, tell her how grateful you are for the money, and anything that she DOES for you and your mom, since you have no power over the things that she doesn't do, concentrate on the good things. As far as the money being late, just remind her that setting the option up online with her bank to automatically pay a certain amount to a certain place is a lot easier than trying to remember who gets what and when. I usually pick my m-i-l up a few days a week and take her places for fun. She also spends Sunday's with us, starting with church and lasting sometimes all day. There is no need for me to be there everyday and babysit her. She is ultimately the one who chooses whether to sit in her room and watch TV all day, or get out and socialize. Good luck, I wish I had better idea for you, but getting old stinks and there's not much we can do about that. :)
Jan, Shedevil is right - you can't force your sister to do anything - even send checks on time. I am in the same boat with my brother, he lives in the same town as Mom and brags about how much he does for her yet I can count on one hand the number of hours he's seen her in the past 3 months. Neither her or his family even CALL her. I live across the country and have spent much more time with her! Needless to say, I don't care if my relationship with him lasts after my Mom passes away. I doubt he'll feel guilty either because he's just too self-centered to give a damn. You have to be content with the amount of time you spend with your mom; it's hard but consider that at least she has you, some others have no one at all.
i also read your profile and noted that all of you contribute to your mom's care. Perhaps that's a burden she can hardly bare. To ensure that all of your relationships last past Mom's death, you might consider state assistance for her assisted living costs. Paying her rent is not an obligation that the kids MUST take on. It's an honorable and loving thing but given today's economy. Best of luck to you all
I have to agree with the others in that you have no control over your sibling. Ultimately, she is the one who is gonna have to live with herself and she may never feel regret or guilt. I know my two sisters never have as I am in a very similar situation. My one sister even lives less than a half mile from my mother. But bottom line is you can't force someone to have compassion, love, a sense of duty, etc., etc. Good luck to you and know that you are so not alone with this type of issue.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Unfortunately, you can only controll your actions, not your sister's. Talk to her and give best try to convince her your mother needs her and wants to see her. If she refuses, that's as far as you can go. Please don't wasted precious emotional engery on something that's not going to change. It will be your sister who bears the guilt of her decision. Be strong and stay committed to yur mother and let your sister walk her own path. Good Luck. SM
I usually pick my m-i-l up a few days a week and take her places for fun. She also spends Sunday's with us, starting with church and lasting sometimes all day. There is no need for me to be there everyday and babysit her. She is ultimately the one who chooses whether to sit in her room and watch TV all day, or get out and socialize. Good luck, I wish I had better idea for you, but getting old stinks and there's not much we can do about that. :)
i also read your profile and noted that all of you contribute to your mom's care. Perhaps that's a burden she can hardly bare. To ensure that all of your relationships last past Mom's death, you might consider state assistance for her assisted living costs. Paying her rent is not an obligation that the kids MUST take on. It's an honorable and loving thing but given today's economy. Best of luck to you all