He is 68 years old and needs me for nearly everything such as transportation, food preparation and serving, picking out his clothes, when we go out I have to take him inside the men's room to use the bathroom. He refuses to go to the Kentucky School for the Blind. .I have to depend on my Social Security and Disability checks as well as his Social Security and a very small retirement check each month so we barely have enough for food. I feel there has to be some type of compensation for the care that I have given for all these years. I'm not looking for back pay, just a starting point. He does not want to be at an assistant living facility or nursing home because he's quite comfortable here so that is off the table. I'm just looking for help
If you live in the States, see If your parent qualifies for Medicaid, the State might allow a trained Caregiver come in to help for a couple hours. Also check to see if your State is one of those States that has a “Cash and Counseling” program to help you out, it‘s worth looking into. Note that each State has their own rules, regulations, and programs.
Also contact your county agency on aging for programs such as Case Management, Meals on Wheels, Adult Day Care, housing, care referrals, etc,... go to the website link below.... click on your State.... now click on the city/county. https://www.agingcare.com/local/Area-Agency-on-Aging
And please come back to the forums if you have any Caregiving questions, we would be more than happy to share our experiences with you, and give you ideas.
Wouldn't it be nice if everyone who is home caring for their parents/grandparents/aunts/ uncles/spouse/sibling/child could get paid for the time they put in.... but that alone would bankrupt the States and the Federal government within months.
So, don't expect any miracles from anywhere.
There may be some very small (minimum wage for a few hours a week) caregiver pay from SOME states...but in order to receive it (in those states) you have to apply for Medicaid for your husband, and he cannot have more than $2000 in assets, plus other qualifications. Then, tthey might be able to offer family caregivers a tiny amount of pay--but, the paychecks will have federal and state income taxes deducted, Social Security / Medicare tax, unemployment tax, and they do report all of your pay to the fed and state, and this could disqualify you from SNAP, SSDI, and negatively impact your Soc Sec checks. also keep in mind, they won't pay more for home care than it would cost to have him in a facility. And they might even decide that you are not capable of taking care of him, and order that he receive care from a total stranger (in your home) or that he must move to a facility because he is not safe living in his own home. So there are many considerations, and hardly anybody gets paid enough to make it "worth it."
Grace + Peace,
Bob
In my circumstances I can NOT be paid to care for my mother-in-law but my children (over age 18) can be and have completed the process to become a provider. Medicaid pays their wages. My mother-in-law is VERY happy to be living in her own home with family members taking care of her.
I agree with everyone. Make sure places you check out know your ex's and have divorce papers handy. He may qualify for help based on his income alone. Hopefully you don't have joint accounts. If so, I would separate them. See if you can get some free legal help or pay on scale.