I even have antiseptic cleaners in pump containers positioned around the house, but he dismisses sanitary measures.
I plan to call his doctor's office Monday to ask for more home aid/nursing since he also does not wash with soap. This led to bedsores before.
Oh, and he lies to me even about simple things.
You are not sure whether he took a shower yesterday? I'm impressed that a 95 year old man can shower on his own. Many people that age would need supervision. My mother (92) has stopped showering, but she does "sponge baths." Disposal washclothes are useful.
If your dad is 95 then I'm guessing your siblings are not in their 20s or 30s. Is that right? Maybe it is OK for him to act like a pal -- they really don't need him to play the father role, do they? (Lord help me if my kids still expect/need me to be parental toward them when I'm 95!) My siblings and I are more and more taking over the parent role to our mother.
Unless your father's behavior with your siblings is somehow harming you, I think I'd just step back from that and not try to supervise or fix it. You have your hands full just keeping him clean!
Yesterday I made some signs to caution people about his refusal to wash his hands, and left one at the kitchen table. This morning there was a tiny peace of soap on his stack of washcloths, as if he actually used it since his hands are so stiff he can't close them to hold something that small to suds up the cloth.
I'm interested to see what he's wearing today since he didn't even take a weekly shower last night from what I see. "Dear Lord, give me patience, and I need it NOW." :-D
As far as the lies. Does he participate in the activity of your siblings or just keep their secrets? Does he do anything that puts you or your family in jeopardy? If so you need to protect yourself there too.
Dad doesn't want certain truths to be exposed, and protects the offenders. I think it's because they are the youngest. He wants family peace, but won't take healthy family leadership role.
I like your idea of making the kitchen off limits to reduce his area of influence. Even after I spoke with him about knowing he doesn't use soap except in occasional shower, he handled the collection of nearby silverware so they all have to be rewashed.
Thanks for your advice, and the c-diff info.
What else does he lie about?