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after my dads recent passing, my sister and I see just how bad of my moms dementia really is. We need to get poa, diagnosis and help getting thru this. how do we talk to her doc? Whats the best way to get poa?
Does your mother still understand what it means to authorize someone to act on her behalf if she cannot act for herself? Would she agree to have you or your sister have that role? If so, then she can sign the paperwork. If not, then a POA cannot be granted.
You don't need to talk to her doc to get POA. Let him or her know when you have medical POA. Tell the doctor privately (Perhaps in a note before the appointment) what your concerns are and what behavior you have observed. Persons with dementia are not always forthcoming with doctors.
I'd get legal advice on the POA. If it's not Durable, it won't survive her incompetence. Also, some require you to file accountings with the court. So, to ensure what she needs, I'd get legal advice. The other option is to get it off line, but, you it's risky.
Most require witnesses and a notary. If an attorney prepares it, they will likely need to chat with mother and confirm in their mind that she understands the document and wants to sign it without coercion or undue influence. If a doctor diagnoses her with dementia first, you may have your work cut out for you.
Yeah mom knows and understands the poa. She also understand what a living will is. My next question is i have poa papers printed up. Does she have to sign in front of a , notary?
I don't think Idaho requires a notary, but it does require 2 signatures.
Are the forms you printed up specific to ID? If not, I suggest you use forms that are. (Easily available on the internet.)
Is there anyone who might contest the POA in the future? If that is even a remote possibility, I'd consult an Elder Law attorney to have the papers drawn up. Research what is required in ID for POA and Healthcare POA. If there is any aspect of the process you are not sure of, that would be another reason for having a lawyer draw up these documents.
Check costs for a lawyer to help with this. It may be worth it just in terms of peach of mind.
If you are confident that your mother fully understands fairly complex legal and ethical concepts like power of attorney and living wills... then how bad is her dementia? And in what way?
I'm sorry to read that your family has recently lost your father. Do you think it might be a good idea to give your mother a little more time to recover from that blow before you ask her to make these important decisions? Or is it that you believe your father's support shielded your mother from having to cope on her own?
missymo71, you mentioned you have the legal paperwork.... curious, who prepared the Power of Attorney? If it is someone that was printed off the Internet, please be very careful. One misplace word or one missing word could create a nightmare.
I have a feeling if Mom doesn't have a Power of Attorney, then she doesn't have other legal documents that usually go along with a POA. Like a Living Will, an updated Will, etc. These documents an Elder Law Attorney can discuss with your Mom. It will be up to the Attorney if he/she feels your Mom is still able to understand these legal documents.
An Elder Law attorney would be best for such documents. My 92 year old FIL has dementia and we worked with an Elder Law attorney to draft and sign the documents my husband and his sister would need going forward. My FIL sat in on the discussions. Just because someone had dementia doesn't necessarily mean they're incompetent or don't understand, at least in the moment, what is going on. He certainly understood, and asked questions. Now, months later, he's completely forgotten he did this, or says he talked to a lawyer about his will, even though there was more to it. His disease scrambles things, but he still grasps that he was involved. Because dementia is progressive, it's best to get these documents in order before the dementia reaches the point where even "in the moment" is beyond their understanding.
For the doctor, be open and frank about your observations. FIL could for a while still put on a good "show" for his doctors, which meant the docs didn't see the signs of his dementia for a much longer time than we, his family, did. When the doctors see you are concerned and working to do what's best for your mom, they will work with you. A caring family is what everyone, including doctors, want to see for our elders.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You don't need to talk to her doc to get POA. Let him or her know when you have medical POA. Tell the doctor privately (Perhaps in a note before the appointment) what your concerns are and what behavior you have observed. Persons with dementia are not always forthcoming with doctors.
Condolences on your father's passing.
Most require witnesses and a notary. If an attorney prepares it, they will likely need to chat with mother and confirm in their mind that she understands the document and wants to sign it without coercion or undue influence. If a doctor diagnoses her with dementia first, you may have your work cut out for you.
Are the forms you printed up specific to ID? If not, I suggest you use forms that are. (Easily available on the internet.)
Is there anyone who might contest the POA in the future? If that is even a remote possibility, I'd consult an Elder Law attorney to have the papers drawn up. Research what is required in ID for POA and Healthcare POA. If there is any aspect of the process you are not sure of, that would be another reason for having a lawyer draw up these documents.
Check costs for a lawyer to help with this. It may be worth it just in terms of peach of mind.
Good luck!
I'm sorry to read that your family has recently lost your father. Do you think it might be a good idea to give your mother a little more time to recover from that blow before you ask her to make these important decisions? Or is it that you believe your father's support shielded your mother from having to cope on her own?
I have a feeling if Mom doesn't have a Power of Attorney, then she doesn't have other legal documents that usually go along with a POA. Like a Living Will, an updated Will, etc. These documents an Elder Law Attorney can discuss with your Mom. It will be up to the Attorney if he/she feels your Mom is still able to understand these legal documents.
For the doctor, be open and frank about your observations. FIL could for a while still put on a good "show" for his doctors, which meant the docs didn't see the signs of his dementia for a much longer time than we, his family, did. When the doctors see you are concerned and working to do what's best for your mom, they will work with you. A caring family is what everyone, including doctors, want to see for our elders.