Husband diagnosed with terminal lung cancer -hospice advised. I keep breaking down and sobbing . How can I get strong to copeLast week my husband went for tests at the hospital. Eventually they found he had lung cancer spreading to lymph nodes. Probably from the asbestosis. They cant operate or give him therapy so they are sending hospice nurse in. I called hospice and she will come on Friday. The problem is I was holding up well until yesterday but now falling apart. My stomach is in knots and I keep sobbing - cant think straight. I want to be strong for him but how? Is there any way like TM or drugs or something? I am falling apart.
I don't know what TM is but if you have questions ask your husband's Dr. It might help to make a list of your concerns, get them on paper, especially
I'm so sorry that your husband has to go through this. But you'll be strong for him when you need to be. Maybe you have a friend or a family member you can confide in?
Do you have any close friends you can regularly talk to, to vent and get those overpowering emotions out and "witnessed" by someone else (other than your husband)? If so, I'd be calling on them now for support. Knowing that you have someone who can listen to you is a very good thing for you mentally. If you don't have a friend, do you have a minister? If not, maybe consider counseling. Hospice can point you in the right direction - they should have support staff.
If you have a regular outlet for your emotions, I think you'll find you won't "fall apart" as much. How is your husband taking the news? My dad passed away at 92 from lung cancer. He had no pain and had hospice for the last two months of his life. His passing was peaceful and quick. I hope my mom goes as quickly and painlessly as my dad, when her time comes. Hugs to you...we're here to support you as you go through this.
Keep posting here; we're listening! All good things to you and your husband.
Their programs can be extensive and therapeutic. I don't know if they practice TM, but as best I recall our local chapter has had some Native American type chanting. There are also groups for the specific cancers. You could join a group in which everyone is affected by lung cancer.
Also check out the magazine CURE; it's specifically for issues affecting cancer, ranging from the questions you've asked to scientific studies on particular courses of treatment. A subscription is free to someone who has cancer or is caring for someone with it.
There is an online version with a good search function for articles on specific issues.
My sister had Reiki therapy, performed by someone who came to the infusion center; it helped calm her during her last chemo sessions.
I hope you find a Gilda's Club near you; they're tremendously supportive. And I wish you as much peace as possible on this journey.
Or dance to the oldies in your kitchen or lounge. Does your husband like music? Mine, aged 70, loves the music he used to hate in the 50's and 60's. Frank Sinatra and Dinah Washington. It's on a music channel on our cable. Or try Pandora. Type in an artist or song name or genre and they will create a "station" just for you.
Try to keep moving. Hugs.
My best friend is going through this now. Her husband isn't on hospice yet but that is not far off. It is pretty unpredictable what a person who understands he is dying will worry about. My friend's husband is very concerned about finances. She constantly reassures him that he has done such a great job of setting up the household finances that she is sure she will be able to keep his system up when she has to take it over.
Take all your husband's concerns seriously, even if it seems silly or inappropriate for him to be worried about certain things. Reassure him.