Mom is in assisted living costing $4000 a month. Her savings & mine has run out. Our home is paid off & I want to get a line of credit to continue paying for her care. But only she is on the Home's Title & they say I need to be on the Title to get the loan. Her Lawyer tells me she cannot put me on the Title with Mom having Alzheimer's & being considered incapacitated. What do I do? I live in & take care of the home. It doesn't seem right. What is the "Legal" way to put me on the title with her being incapacitated having Alzheimer's?? Please Help!! I am sure someone else out there has had the same issues. What did they do??
Thank you for any Help. Sylvia
I love reading the replies on this site. I'm deep into this whole care for Mom and her money thing 4 years now. Mom lived with Dad until he died.
If your loved one has any property, in most states that eliminates Medicaid. If the facility she lives in is a CBRF, they don't take Medicaid residents as a rule even if she could get Medicaid. You didn't say much about you having Power of Attorney for her financials. If you do, you could take out a personal loan for medical expenses to get by for 2 or three months until you can sort this out. Are you the heir who gets the house when your loved one passes away?
First, in my state, Doctors deem residents incapacitated so if you have medical power of attorney, you can make medical decisions for your loved one. It doesn't say anything about financial issues. The attorney I hired to set up a trust for my Mother, said if she can sign her name and understand yes or no, she can do documents. If you are looking out for her well being, you are not doing this for yourself to kick her out on the street. You are looking out for her best interest. If you are able, get Guardianship of her through the court. That covers everything, Money, Property, and medical decisions.
I love the one that says you should not have used your savings or you should not have to deal with a loan. NOT, I work to pay for my Parent's bills other than the Memory Care Fees. I pay a loan because she was short money one year. Someday My Mother will die and I will be glad I did everything I could to care for her needs when she could no longer deal with them herself.
Get all the options, write them down and don't stress. It will come to you. Con
Ask your Lawyer about all this. It's a Tough Call and All when you have to Give up things like Houses and Bank Accounts because the Elderly don't Protect this.
Medicaid applications vary from state to state but in any event be prepared for at least a 3 year look-back which means you will have to get bank statements, copies of checks, copies of deposit slips, birth certificates death, marriage certificates, etc. In the state of New Jersey it is a five-year look-back. If you do not have power of attorney or are not on your Mom's banking accounts, you will certainly need an attorney to deal with the bank to obtain the necessary documents.
You should speak to an elder care attorney for legal advice; make sure they are certified. You should NOT, in my opinion and I have been an admissions director in long-term care for over 10 years, apply for a loan and jeopardize your own Financial assets and Future. Just my 2 cents worth.
And meanwhile, you are living in her house, to which you have no title, and you are paying for its upkeep - taxes, utilities, maintenance?
You cannot afford to subsidise your mother, to put it bluntly. Even if you felt it was morally right to do so, you don't have the money and you need to eat.
You must get legal advice to guide you through all the steps, but roughly what you should aim to do is sell the house and reclaim the money you paid towards your mother's ALF fees from the proceeds. Will that give you enough to make a fresh start?
Set up an appointment. Have all Moms financial information. That goes for insurance policies, stocks, shares, bonds. Any prepaid funeral trusts or insurance. Explain that you have been living in the house and keeping it up. I had my disabled nephew living in Moms. But I also had the house up for sale to help pay for her care in an AL.
I really don't think putting yourself in further debt is a good idea.
You can always buy the house from your mom, offering her a lifetime home, (I suggest that because of the fear elders have of being homeless) and then you can get a loan to buy it and use that money to pay for moms care. This would ensure you get to keep the house. It must be purchased at full market value, I would check with your state to find out exactly how they interpret that.
Problem solved.
The problem is that medicaid may attempt recovery after your mom dies from the estate. Which is the house. So you need to take steps to prevent that from happening. That you should see a competent elder law attorney about. It could be as simple as executing a transfer on death deed.
As for what her lawyer told you about her being incapacitated, I would question him more about that. She can think she's living on the moon, but as long as she's clear about wanting you on the title. She's competent enough to put you on the title. Someone only needs to be clear about the one issue they are executing. That's the way I understand it.
As usual, this is just the ramblings of someone that doesn't have a clue about anything.
Go to the senior center in your town and ask to speak to an elder law attorney. Sometimes they work for free or very low cost.
I'm sure she can get Medicaid (Medi-Cal in California) if she has no other assets other than the house.
A "loan" for Mom's ongoing care is NOT the answer and she may outlive the loan. Then what?
Perhaps there is another way of looking at this bad situation. You posted that you are taking care of the house. Can you afford the house? Are you paying the bills yourself? You also posted that mom is running out of money! You will probably have to file for Medicaid to help pay for mom's care. But before you do see an Elderly Lawyer who will know all the Medcaid rules. If you want to keep the house ask the lawyer if you can get a waiver or a exemption so that Medicaid won't take the house or put a lien on it.
If I may suggest that it may not be a good idea to take a loan out on the house to pay for mom's care. I realize you are in a difficult situation, and I am sure you want mom to have great care, but you need to be aware of what the aftermath will be. You could get stuck paying that loan off or worst yet, need Medicaid and your decision about putting a loan on the house made it where mom is disqualifie. Look at all your options and think about how this is going to affect you after mom is gone?!
I live with my mother and I take care of her and the house. I know she will need Medicaid. But I also know that I have to think about my future. Because my mother did not put my name on her house in 2014 I will have to file an exemption to keep the roof over my head!
Just my 2 cents.
I am sorry that you are in this horrible and difficult situation.
Someone here will help you. Good Luck!