Quad heart bypass. Bi-Lat femoral arterial bioassay-stil smokes. Cardiologist says "don't fight this battle". He wants a cigarette about every two hours. Non-insulin diabetes but run sigh blood sugars. Candy demands, ice cream demands, green grapes, oranges, etc. "don't worry, just give them whatever they want". He's 83 - is this the way to play this? The alternative is constant arguing-trying to re-direct, offer alternatives. Help!
Charlotte
John 14:1-4 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.
When I was first diagnosed, I picked up a sugar free candy and the same brand's regular candy, and took them to my next session with a certified diabetes educator. I asked which would be better for me. She read the labels and laughed. Well, the sugar-free is more expensive so maybe that would encourage you to eat less. But the sweetner in the sugar-free gives many people diarrhea. She said she'd pick the regular one, but limit how many to eat.
Planning some treats into one's diet is not "cheating." It is making intelligent choices.
Family history is so important - I went to university with a guy who said that no male in 5 generations had lived past 52 [all heart problems] - he wasn't going to do any pension but was hoping to be shot in bed by a jealous husband - not the greatest long term profile - I always hoped that he would have a minor procedure & be proven wrong [given how medical progress has gone now a days ... because wouldn't that proven him wrong]
I suggest it is time to start getting things in order for a memory care or nursing home.
It may become too difficult for you to handle. My father had dementia, lived alone, and at Christmas came to a family Christmas Eve party with a machete strapped to his waist.
Finally in April we had to place him in a nursing home because none of us could get him to do anything-not bathe, not stop buying things, not pay his bills. He got moreand more delusional and paranoid, needed medication to reduce his fear and anxiety.
There are ways to protect some assets and still get Medicaid for long term care.
I hope you are able to get some things done as it only gets more bizarre and complicated. You have to take care of yourself too.
Hugs
However, i wouldn’t allow him to run me ragged with his demands. I think a degree of reasonableness is necessary for both sides or he may make you crazy keeping him happy.
Got on a tangent. Here's how/why my mom quit smoking: my younger brother, who is severely disabled, was still living with her. He is now in a group home. She had home caregivers coming in to help get him up, in bed, and in the bath. One day she saw a cigarette size (full length) burn on the carpet. Had to be her, but she never admitted it. No one else lived there. All she could think was, "how could I get Steve out if the house started on fire????!!!!" She quit smoking right away.
The research on persuading people to change health behaviors does show that appeals to the safety of loved ones are more likely to impact people than are appeals to one's own safety. Is there anyone else in the family that your dad would care for enough to modify his behavior? Never worked with my dad -- he died at 58. But it did work with Mom. Praying for you!
I found the first thing to go with Dementia is reasoning and processing of information. Trying to reason with a Dementia patient is a lost cause. They also don't process what you are saying correctly. Let him enjoy these things. As his desease progresses, he may not be asking for these things anymore. He will go thru different stages.
My husband has congestive heart failure and even though I don’t buy cartons of cigarettes for him any longer, I do buy the occasional pack for him. I know he occasionally smokes during the night, as he’s already called me at 3AM to find a dropped, lit cigarette.
I agree with the doctor. If he wants a cheeseburger for breakfast, give it to him. It’s just easier that way.
I can tell you this - when I tried to go "healthy" with my DH, he quit eating! I finally got him eating again and this time I let him have whatever he wanted.