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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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The idea of moving our Mother to a 1 room facility without her cats and her beloved things is heartwrenching. Do downsize from her home of 40 years is overwelming! How do you prepare for this and manage it?
Check with local memory care facilities and see what they require. They usually send a staff person to do an evaluation. A court order may or may not be required. I checked with three local places for my dad whose dementia is getting worse, and was told they just needed a letter stating incompetence from his treating doc. Few elders ever agree to go into care. Facilities are quite used to the I WANT TO GO HOME mantra.
My Dad will not agree to ANYTHING much less moving into care. I'm prepared for a little fibbing, THEY HAVE TO FIX THE FLOORING, ITLL TAKE A FEW DAYS, or what ever works. Frame it with her as temporary. There a loads of stories on this site about people's experiences with this. Read up.
As for the house and stuff, oh my.......We are all facing this. I've been chipping away here and there but when the house is vacated my process will involve a large dumpster, an estate sale, selling the house as is (I'm 600 miles away) and some adult beverages.
The cats. Always a big problem. Start looking for homes. Many facilities have resident cats and dogs and allow visiting pets. Your mom will make new pet friends quickly.
With my Dad, he took a different approach when he decided that his house was getting too big for him to maintain and the stairs too scary even with the help of a caregiver.
Dad first downsized into a really nice 2 bedroom Independent Living facility. He knew he couldn't take all his furniture so he and his caregiver talked about what was most important to him. And he was ok with that. Dad wasn't into knick knacks so that was good. Except he wanted all of his books, about 200 of them. He had room for all of his bookcases, so that helped.
I was lucky, Dad's budget allowed me to bring his caregiver with him, but we cut her hours from 8 to 6 hours. Having her gave Dad a sense of routine.
After 8 months in Independent Living, Dad needed to move into Memory Care. For my Dad moving into one room was a bit of an adjustment but he knew he would be saving a lot of money and he would be getting more care. I would joke with him telling him he was going back in time, moving back into a college dorm. Right outside of his room was the living room for the quad of rooms on that corner, so Dad kept his door opened to give him the feeling he had a larger place.
Some Assisted Living facilities allow their residents to have small pets. One lady on Dad's floor had a cute little dog but he loved to run around and she would get so mad at him.... here was the well dressed, well kept, dignified frail women cursing at her dog when he went on one of his romps around that building. He even would sneak on the elevator down to the main floor. That Staff all knew him. It was like Keystone Cops trying to catch him :)
Jilly, yes it denial by our parent(s) that they have become older and that they need more help. They will fight big time for their independence. My late Mom was very stubborn and we couldn't get her out of that house no matter what, even though Dad was willing to move. Plus Mom refused caregivers.... [sigh].
Will your Mom's cats live with you or other relatives? Not being around her pets will be difficult for a few weeks, and I think eventually she will forget about them.
Jillylotp, first sit down with an attorney, because you may need a court order to move her against her will. Usually two MD's have to certify the need, and they must be psychiatrists or neurologists who have tested her.
Thank you for sharing your experience. We're faced with going directly into Memory Care, we believe and they will not accept her cats which will be just devastating for us all, AND she has no idea that she is ill or needs help. So the idea of moving into a facility is truly agonizing. Not sure how to do it, broach it ect. Sounds like you were lucky with your dad. Thank you again!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My Dad will not agree to ANYTHING much less moving into care. I'm prepared for a little fibbing, THEY HAVE TO FIX THE FLOORING, ITLL TAKE A FEW DAYS, or what ever works. Frame it with her as temporary. There a loads of stories on this site about people's experiences with this. Read up.
As for the house and stuff, oh my.......We are all facing this. I've been chipping away here and there but when the house is vacated my process will involve a large dumpster, an estate sale, selling the house as is (I'm 600 miles away) and some adult beverages.
The cats. Always a big problem. Start looking for homes. Many facilities have resident cats and dogs and allow visiting pets. Your mom will make new pet friends quickly.
Dad first downsized into a really nice 2 bedroom Independent Living facility. He knew he couldn't take all his furniture so he and his caregiver talked about what was most important to him. And he was ok with that. Dad wasn't into knick knacks so that was good. Except he wanted all of his books, about 200 of them. He had room for all of his bookcases, so that helped.
I was lucky, Dad's budget allowed me to bring his caregiver with him, but we cut her hours from 8 to 6 hours. Having her gave Dad a sense of routine.
After 8 months in Independent Living, Dad needed to move into Memory Care. For my Dad moving into one room was a bit of an adjustment but he knew he would be saving a lot of money and he would be getting more care. I would joke with him telling him he was going back in time, moving back into a college dorm. Right outside of his room was the living room for the quad of rooms on that corner, so Dad kept his door opened to give him the feeling he had a larger place.
Some Assisted Living facilities allow their residents to have small pets. One lady on Dad's floor had a cute little dog but he loved to run around and she would get so mad at him.... here was the well dressed, well kept, dignified frail women cursing at her dog when he went on one of his romps around that building. He even would sneak on the elevator down to the main floor. That Staff all knew him. It was like Keystone Cops trying to catch him :)
Will your Mom's cats live with you or other relatives? Not being around her pets will be difficult for a few weeks, and I think eventually she will forget about them.