My 85 year old Granny has been in hospice care since May 2018 after she was diagnosed with colon cancer. She pretty much doesn't eat anything and is down to 69 pounds, she may eat a couple of junior mints or some candy, but she won't eat any food. She just asked me yesterday for beer, do you think the hospice nurses will allow her to have beer? My concern is the alcohol interacting with her medications, but the beer would provide her with needed calories.
Has anyone else experienced this? Did you get the their requested beer/alcohol?
Im sorry that you and your family are having to watch your g'ma waste away.
May God grant you peace on this journey.
Hugs!
I don't suppose the manufacturers of the medications would recommend that they be taken with alcohol, but if there is a serious interaction to worry about - and yes do check because the last thing you want to do is make her feel worse - then I'd query what good the medication is doing and see if you can't change that.
One caution, though. Don't be disappointed if, once you've brought the beer, nicely chilled, opened it with a flourish, and ceremoniously poured it into a slim glass for your grandmother, she doesn't after all drink it, let alone enjoy it. It may just be the idea that she liked and the reality doesn't match her memory of past pleasures. Should that happen, try other little treats - ask around the family about favourite dishes or brands of chocolate they remember.
If the beer doesn't taste as good as Granny remembers, she just won't finish it.
At 69 pounds, I would imagine most, if not all, of her medications should be stopped anyway. She has to be suffering many major side-effects as she hasn't the body weight to support them.
Ask the nurse that comes to see her. I doubt there will be a problem. My guess is your Grandmother will not finish an entire beer anyway.
And if she is mobile I would not have her walking around after having the beer. I would give it to her while she is eating in her chair or at the table or even in bed.
And a personal note here when my Husband was on Hospice I did give him a beer, he used to home beer, and he had a few sips and pushed the glass towards my sister.
After phoning the hospice nurse and discussing it, we visited MIL with the needed supplies. It was ten in the morning.
MIL asked if she could finally have her drink. Although my wife initially disagreed (it was morning), she relented. I fixed MIL her bourbon and water and it made her very happy. It reminded her of better times with her husband.
For a couple of weeks after that I stopped every afternoon for her cocktail hour. When the staff got used to the idea I started leaving airplane bottles with the proper amount. We asked hospice to add it to the care plan so the staff could assist.
I supplied the airplane bottles, and started watering down the bourbon somewhat. I do not think she ever caught on. It was more the idea of keeping her routine.
I did not do this for my father when he was in hospice, but I probably should have. He talked about it and it would have made him happier. Daily would not have worked for him as he was a fall risk, but periodically could have been arranged. I think he would have been happier as drinking had been a big part of his life. With him I did not really understand that palliative care is for comfort, not healing.
I agree with others that she may just want the taste of beer and probably won't drink much of it.
Ceasing to eat or drink is part of the natural process of dying. She doesn't need calories. It can be the hardest thing to accept for loved ones. It helped me to keep in mind that, when a dying person eats in order to make their family members feel better, it actually makes them feel worse.
It's time for everyone to follow your grandmother's lead. She's in charge for this journey. She's not a 'patient' anymore.
The non-alcoholic beer would be a good back up plan.
Anyone on hospice should be given what they want because they have a terminal condition, have stopped treatment for that condition, and the goal of hospice is comfort.
18 months ago I spent 4 months bringing my mom back from death's door. First two months was a downward spiral as I carefully followed medical advice, The change happened when I focused on her favorite foods. I also tried new things based on what she seemed to respond to. A few key things that helped more than others were 1) variety of carbonated flavored water 2) Ginger Ale, 3) Gatorade (one bottle of each favor and then rotate the ones she liked), 4) high protein drinks like Ensure (rotated the favors and would use as milk on cereal once she started eating again), 5) 100% Pure New England Maple Syrup, 6) butter, 7) variety of prepared bagged salads that include the dressing.
It was a educated guessing game. Family members initially thought I was crazy and I didn't care. By the start of the 4th month family was offering suggestions and making special trips to the store. Mom has been back at home for the past 14 months. She had 2 days in the hospital for the flu last New Years and a handful of Dr visits mostly for UTIs. She is 93 and going for 100. As her strength returned, she again insists on sweeping the driveway so we supervise and have learned to be on the down slope side. Family thanked me for thinking outside of the box and being willing to go with my gut despite the mild 'you are crazy' push back they initially offered up.
s. they should get it its a comfort to taste it while they are still here.
God be with you.
Godspeed...………...Granny
I would give your grandmother some beer if that's what she wants. She isn't driving or operating any equipment.
I forgot to mention that my mom is 89, is in the end stage of Alzheimer's, no longer walks or talks, except a little gibberish, and sits in a wheel chair. She was kicked off hospice earlier this month because she was stable and not dying any time soon.