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My 96 year old father is in hospice, too. There should really be no reason to keep them from an occasional (or daily) beer, wine, etc. They have more than earned this simple pleasure.
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She can do and have anything that makes her happy and feel good. Celebrate with her!!!
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by all means, talk to the Hospice nurses; but at her age and health, why deny her something that will make her feel good. The likelihood of it having much negative impact is most likely very small, especially when compared to the good it will do for her.
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I would not give her any alcohol, especially because the drugs/medicines that she is being given while in Hospice, are to 'shorten her life' ... I am sorry to say that - and that might interfere with the painkillers/opiods she is on now.
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worriedinCali Sep 2018
Wow this is so wrong it’s not even funny! Hospice meds are NOT to shorten someone’s life. And even if they were, why would that be a reason to deny someone a BEER?
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I have been wondering the same. My grandma is in a nursing home and I certainly can't sneak her in 1 beer. But she sure wants one. I would really like to give her one and I know that would not be good. If I were you....just ask the hospice people. Perhaps they could adjust that days meds for a beer? I don't know.
I know this stuff is so hard. And we just want them to enjoy something like that. But I'd definitely ask. Even one beer will interact with the meds.
I wish you the best with your Dad. And I'm sending "virtual" love and support over the internet. I'm pretty new and still not sure how to navigate through everything. But I'd like to know if Dad gets a smile out of the simple pleasure of drinking a beer. Hang in there!!
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Confounded Oct 2018
A few years ago, my best friend became a quadriplegic with cognitive deficits following a major stroke, plus she was in final-stage kidney disease. I was able, near the end, to sneak in wine and ... ummm ... herbal (yup!) tea, though not as much as she deserved, nor as much as I would have liked.

But, that little bit I was able to wangle, did help.

If you are able to do a bit of research on what meds she's taking, and what possible reactions would result, it might help with decision making. Either way.
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I have a friend who ALWAYS celebrated New Year's day with her mother, who had dementia and resided in a nursing home, with mimosas. It was their tradition and it continued through the late stage of her mother's life. She said she could just tell that her mom was able to enjoy it, though, she was no longer verbal.
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Have you considered giving her a 'Near Beer'? It has all the taste of beer, but no alcohol. My husband drinks these when he's craving a beer, but can't afford to drink and drive.
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Oh my, if that woman asks for anything, give it to her. Any and everything she asks for. With all she is coping with, ease at least her wishes for beer! Consider the quality of her life. Not pretty, is it? GIVE HER THE BEER and smile while doing it. In fact, pour one for yourself!
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anonymous444729 Oct 2018
absolutely
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Don't ask don't tell is the best advice. Bring a cold can in you pocket and pour a little into one of the disposable cups from the water cooler. Give her as much as she wants but it probably will only be a few sips then destroy the evidence as you leave
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enderby Oct 2018
Good intention, but not really a good idea. Work with hospice or the doctor to make it part of the treatment plan. It could interact with meds and make the staff think something else is wrong.
An extreme example - Say she is usually alert and active for dinner, but the beer and meds make her fall asleep in her plate. They then take her to the hospital because they cannot fully wake her. It is much better to be up front.
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At some of the nursing homes that I worked, I have had families ask the doctor to write a "prescription" for "1 can of beer per week as needed"; and then the family gave the nursing home a couple cans of beer so that the resident could drink beer while watching football games on his TV.  I have also had families bring in a can of beer or a small bottle of wine that they shared with the resident--AFTER a doctor's order was gotten and AFTER the family informed the Nurse ON DUTY that the resident was drinking alcohol that day so that the nurse could modify or not give certain medications at the same time that the resident was drinking alcohol.

To be on the "Safe Side", get a doctor's order for "One  Half to One can of Beer every 24 hours PRN".
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My uncle was in a hospice. Their rule was they could have anything they wanted.
So my Uncle had a 'half' after his light tea (Sandwich, jelly etc.)

I would think they adjusted his meds too, but anything he wanted meant MEDS too.

For goodness they, they are dying.
So they just as well die comfortable and as happy as you can make them.

They were such lovely people.
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Give her the beer 🍺
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Give her a beer. please.

My grandmother was in hospice and came home and asked for a drink, Oh No it might kill her. She was dying. Give her a beer.
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@ Enderby, If someone is in Hospice, they do not go to the hospital.
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enderby Oct 2018
Not really the point of my reply, but if you go to the hospital for healing treatment of the same ailment you were admitted to hospice for, you must be removed from hospice first. You can, however, go to the hospital for unrelated conditions. You could also be removed from hospice, go to the hospital, then be readmitted to hospice. We had that situation.
I think you misunderstand my point. It is important to work with the care staff, case nurse, and doctor to let them know what you are doing. Beer can become part of the care plan. Staff may believe something to be physically wrong if alcohol and drugs interact and they are not aware of the alcohol.
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