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The hallucinations my mom had resulted in us taking her to ER. They thought it was dementia. Not having any knowledge of it as didn't think so however she ended up with Alzheimer's. All the symptoms you described all played a part. Certain medicines especially tramadol made her mean and combative. Mom wouldn't take meds either so I got a pill crushed and would mix them with her food. Of course if she refuses to eat that s an issue. If she drinks tea I found mother earth anti-anxiety tea on amazon that seemed to help calm mom down. First since your father is mentally fine it's up to him if he's on board with whatever you do. I agree with others that your first choice should be APS or elder services. If she has Alzheimer's it's only going to get worse. Tell your dad he needs help to make sure he's not accused of elder abuse. All the best to you.
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I accidentally ran across a medical school that has a department of psychiatry that has geriatric specialists who make house calls to the seniors. I could hardly believe it. It's such a great service, but, unfortunately, this particular facility is not near enough to my family. PM me for the name of the place, if you are near Winston Salem, NC. Oh, their website says that cost is something that they do not prevent one from receiving care. So, they'll figure that out. All I could say was awesome!
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my mom is currently in post rehab (related to a pelvic fracture after a fall) at home care where different nurses, therapists, social workers come to her home now and then. The nurse in charge had a psych nurse come as it was very evident my mom is nuts. The psych nurse came and recommended to my moms primary physician a more robust medication regiment (mom is on 20 mg of Prozac now) and referral to a geriatric psych. My moms doctor seemed to take offense that a nurse (albeit a psych nurse who works with this all the time) was telling her what to do and dismissed it, saying changing meds right now would add to much chaos. The psych nurse said GPs don't like to get involved in anything other than very basic anxiety meds, and that is fine, but then refer her to a geri psych. She seems reluctant to do that. Would be great to have one come to my moms home, but I would just like to get her to one period.
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Try to get POA on health. Try to talk to doctor and ask for palliative care and/or hospice evaluation so they can come to her in her home. Do ask about UTI's. They mess up the brain, and if the urinary tract infections gets bad, the kidneys can go bad too. Usually with my MIL once she gets A uti, her brain will get scrambled.
I'm sorry your are going through this, your dad is very special.. He still loves her.
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Have her checked out all blood work, UTI's rule those out first.

ALZ is just not a fun road, but some of us must travel down it...

Geriatric doctors will help. Try getting primary doctor to file in for palliative/hospice evaluation first. Go from there.

Your dad is amazing. So are you. Hang in there. don't do anything too drastic.
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psychiatrists are not magicians. they cannot make an accurate diagnosis when someone is guarded and not being forthcoming. if she refuses to be forthcoming with him, he will be unable to make an accurate assessment. if you can get her to sign a release of information, and he can talk to you he is likely to get a much better idea of what's going on. But you really don't need that. You might have much better luck getting a psychiatric nurse practitioner to come to the house. If you have POA, that makes things a lot easier with regard to the sharing of information. For depression she will likely try a common antidepressant in a low dosage or perhaps just a mood stabilizer. If she has anxiety he will likely prescribe an antidepressant that relaxes people or a very mild sedative, depending on comorbid health conditions. Go for the nurse practitioner through medicare. I think that would be your best bet, you can get one to come to the house easily.
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