My grandmother just passed away yesterday, My mom passed away at the end of January. This whole year feels like a nightmare and I just won't wake up, These two ladies have been the only family I have had. We all were so very close. I haven't worked since my moms passing because I moved and took care of my grandmother. Now they are both gone and I dont know how to cope. I have tried all different kinds of methods. They don't seem to be working. I know we all cope in different ways. I just need some motivation I guess to keep going. Any Ideas? I would appreciate anything.
I am sorry for your loss. There will be ups and downs, but you are already reaching out to the online community. This is the beginning of taking those steps.
I have a family but felt very alone with the pain, I didn't want them to see me crying which made it worse because I was suppressing my feelings to avoid my kids and husband to see me crying. But on mother's day we went out for a meal and I couldn't stop crying I was in a public place and my tears wouldn't stop. I think all the upset I was holding inside came out like a fountain. People kept saying time will heal, and we have to believe in people that have gone through it. I still question a lot of things, although a did the best for my mum and she was a big part of my life I kept thinking I could have done more, it's very irrational to be thinking that but it's part of the grieving process, and looking for blame about why did it happened?. Even recently I went to see her oncologist to give me explanations about my questions and doubts and although he answered everything I asked him I still came out with doubts. It's a matter of coming to terms and accept their death, grieving is a process there are no short cuts unfortunately.
My piece of advice is to talk to people that are understanding and will be willing to listen or they have gone through the same experience that really helps you need to let everything out and you feel a lot better by doing it. If you need to talk you can contact by e-mail. Big hugs xx
Love2 since you posted this have you found the support that you need? I am going to do some checking around to see what is available.
CDN thank you for the extensive list.
My deepest sympathies and condolences on the passing of your beloved mother and grandmother. I'm very sorry for your losses. It is a hard time. Almost 9 months later I am too still looking for ways to cope.
The finality of death although hard fact of life, it takes a long time for our mind to come to terms with. Taking care of your mother and grandmother was a very honorable thing to do. And its only natural to struggle after their loss.
I know we all grieve differently but I have tried almost everything and anything. Here is my list, so I hope maybe something will be of use. Thinking of you.
Grief counselling
Grief support groups
Reading different websites:
What's Your Grief
The Grief Healing Blog
Griefshare.Org
The Grief Recovery Method
Reading different books and articles
Meditation
Taking new classes
Journaling
Writing a letter to my father
Posting on different grief forums
Take care of yourself the best you can. Please know you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. We are all here to listen. Hugs my friend.