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My sister was appointed guardian over my mother after a catastrophic stroke, my brother and his family have moved in with mom and sis to help take care of mom. My sister is paying my brother to watch mom during the day while she works. My brother works nights. The rest of the siblings as well as the other grandchildren are not allowed contact with mom/grandma. Is this legal? My sister will not allow assistance from the nursing facilities in the area to check on mom. Mom qualifies for Medicaid assistance but sister will not do the paperwork. She insists that she and my brother can handle things on their own without outside interference. Is there anything that the rest of the family can do?

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My mother is 95 yrs old she has 15 children.My sister does not allow me & my brothers&sisters to visit with her.Is there anything we can do.Mom Is the one suffering by not letting her see her children.We live in Conn.is there anything we can do now.
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Update on this situation. In April my sister tried to have a restraining order placed on me for "harassment of her". (I haven't seen/ spoken to her in over a year). It was thrown out of court do to lack of evidence. I was the one that partitioned the court on her behalf to be appointed guardian for my mom. I was the one who paid the lawyer to do the paperwork. I was the one that took my older disabled brother in when she threw him out of the only home he has ever known. This guardianship has gone to her head. There are five of us who are not allowed to see or even speak to my mom. There are 10 grandchildren who have been totally cut off from their grandmother. This whole situation is not right but I don't know where else to turn.
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It cannot be answered without a number of specifics. APS investigated me for isolating my ward. The complaint was deemed baseless. Why? My ward has a very active social life, attends church regularly, and sees all the doctors she needs to see. My ward alleges the people who I will not allow to see her abused her and neglected her when she lived with them. I witnessed some of it. They were suing her for more than $200,000. When I allowed phone calls, they lied about what my ward told them. I started video taping my ward so that I would know exactly what she said. This was a great deal of work. APS told me I could, as her guardian, disallow phone calls if I felt they were harming her, which I definitely did, so I stopped them. So they called APS; APS ended up telling me to cut them off. Not directly, but it was like, "Look, you can do this." They are currently suing for visitation. I do not know how it will come out. They want all her money. So I'm considering moving her to skilled nursing in a memory care facility. They can visit her there, as "their" money vanishes at $7,000 plus per month. People do not have the right to make the guardian's life hell. Over two years my fee for taking care of this person - negative $30,000. That's right. I pay my ward to be her guardian. These two people were screwing her blind. So folks, sometimes there's more to the story
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It cannot be answered without a number of specifics. APS investigated me for isolating my ward. The complaint was deemed baseless. Why? My ward has a very active social life, attends church regularly, and sees all the doctors she needs to see. My ward alleges the people who I will not allow to see her abused her and neglected her when she lived with them. I witnessed some of it. They were suing her for more than $200,000. When I allowed phone calls, they lied about what my ward told them. I started video taping my ward so that I would know exactly what she said. This was a great deal of work. APS told me I could, as her guardian, disallow phone calls if I felt they were harming her, which I definitely did, so I stopped them. So they called APS; APS ended up telling me to cut them off. Not directly, but it was like, "Look, you can do this." They are currently suing for visitation. I do not know how it will come out. They want all her money. So I'm considering moving her to skilled nursing in a memory care facility. They can visit her there, as "their" money vanishes at $7,000 plus per month. People do not have the right to make the guardian's life hell. Over two years my fee for taking care of this person - negative $30,000. That's right. I pay my ward to be her guardian. These two people were screwing her blind. So folks, sometimes there's more to the story
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I have a similar sad situation. My prayers to you. My mother went to visit my sister in colorado, I live in florida and my mom lived next door for 25 years and lived with me after my dad died for 2 years. I bought a round trip ticket for her to visit. within two days my sister and brother together closed her bank accounts, removed her s.s. and pension, cut off her cell phone andchanged her address. They then callede and told me to send 44,000.00 dollars if I wanted to speak to my mom again. I am sad every day. I have not spoken to my mom in 10 months, they told her I threw her out of the house and did not want her back. She told my son that. They let him talk to her only when they call him, if he calls they do not answer. So when they call back my mother talks to him and my sister is on the phone asking him for money from me if I want to talk to her. I have called adult protective services but I believe she is scared to say anything as she thinks she has been thrown out of my house and will have nowhere to go. I have contacted an attorney in Colorado but he wants a ten thousand retainer and he cannot guarantee. I prayer for all who are going thru this. How disgusting greed is. Any one with any ideas what else could be done please advise. Thank you all
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The sad part of both our situations is that tha adults don't realize the damage that is being done to the grandchildren. My mother babysat my daughter from the time she was 6 weeks old until after she started first grade. She has always been able to pick up the phone and call her grandmother any time she wished. We have always celebrated the holidays with her. Since her stroke all of that has been changed. Phone calls go unreturned, cards are returned unopened and celebrating the holidays is totally out of the question. My daughter is devastated
At the the treatment she has received from her aunt. There has been no contact between mt daughter and her grandmother for the last four months because my sister will not allow it. This is time that has been stolen from a child that can never be returned to her. I am sad to say that I agreed to appoint my sister guardian. Now I see that I made a grievous mistake in doing so.
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That is a terrible situation. I have one close to that. My ex father-in-law is living with my ex husband and his wife in a house. They wife informed one of my adult children that she was going to change her grandfather's phone number and email address and be limited in who she allows to have it. It is possible that my two children will no longer be able to communicate with their grandfather. They live far away from each other and are not able to visit in person. What can be done to make sure that my ex father-in-law is not isolated from his grandchildren (my children)? Is there a way they could at least mail him letters making sure that only he can sign for them so that they are not confiscated? It all started when I called my ex father-in-law to wish him a Merry Christmas. The wife is angry that I called. What can be done to protect my children from being isolated from their grandfather?
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You are right...it doesn't make sense if my sister were doing her job of protecting my mother and her assets. The rest of the family are thinking that she and my brother are using her money for their own needs. I have spoken to an elder care attorney. He wants a retainer fee.
The latest part of this situation came to light yesterday. My sister in North Carolina had called me to let me know that sister guardian had taken my mom to the neurologist last week had extensive tasting done and has made significant gains. My moms neurologist moved to California the beginning of September ( her last day at the practice was August 31) Her patients have not been reassigned as of yet. ( my older brother has the same neurologist) Who did my mother see? What significant gains have been made? Dead brain cells just don't automatically rejuvenate. I am hoping the court will investigate and do something.
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this is awful and i don't understand how you can be legally prevented from seeing and visiting your mom. unless they have just cause or an order of protection against you i would think adult protective services would help and step in. did you ever get to speak to an elder law attorney. this just doesn't make sense. thoughts are with you
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My older brother got to spend twenty minutes with mom under strict supervision. My daughter still has not been allowed to speak to or visit with her grandmother. I am not allowed to speak with or see my mother. I was the one who has taken her to all of her dr.s appointments for the last 25 years. All of a sudden I'm not allowed to do even that! The only working shower in the house is located in my moms room. There are five people taking showers in the morning. Mom has no privacy in her own home. It is a very sad situation. I have written a letter to the court asking for assistance.
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what is the current status of this situation?
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At the time the family thought that my sister was the best choice to be guardian. As time has passed, questions have come up such as why sis hasn't signed mom up for Medicaid or why mom is not having home health assistance, sister has decided that we are trying to start trouble for mom and has refused to allow us to see or speak to mom. When we found out that brother and family were moving in we questioned that decision also as mom never would have allowed that before her stroke. Brother has not been able to hold a job for more than a few months at a time and was behind on child support. All of a sudden child support is paid in full and brother has a new truck. I paid for the lawyer to have sister appointed guardian (I'm still paying for that). The rest of us all have families and we all work but we love our mom and would like to be able to see her or at least talk to her. I have contacted Adult and Elderly services they can't get involved until something happens.
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My two cents: isolation is elder abuse which would be what you are describing. If you pursue this, which I believe you should, the guardian would have to come up with some very good reasons why the family is not welcome to see your loved one.
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Is it legal? Probably. Guardianship confers much greater control than, for example, DPOA.

Is it in Mother's best interests? That is pretty hard to imagine.

Can you do anything about it? I suggest that you consult an elder law attorney.

How did this Sister get guardianship? Did the rest of the family offer their opinions during the court hearing? Was everyone content with that arrangement at the time, and only have concerns now that Sister is cutting everyone off?

Very sad situation. My heart goes out to you. But if Sister is the legal gaurdian I think you'll need legal advice regarding visitation rights.
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Yeah...there seems to be something fundamentally out of order there.
ALTHOUGH....
If Mom suddenly decided she feared or otherwise was too stressed to see any other relatives, she may have told her caretaking family, to prevent any family visitors--My Mom orchestrated that kind of blockade against me.
They all shut me out--I had to let them.
And am gradually finding it is a relief.

BUT...it sounds more like your Mom is being artificially isolated.
ESPECIALLY since they are failing to fill out paperwork to get her the care she needs.
---IF mom has resources they are using, by being her sole caretakers, her getting Medicaide assist from State, would mean they would lose those resources. [Speculating]

Indeed, causing Mom to be isolated, is a form of elder neglect or abuse.
NOT allowing any Health Care workers to visit and assess circumstances at that house, is a red flag whipping in the wind begging for inspection at very least, and her removal from that home and move to a facility, at worst.

HAVE you already tried calling 911 to do a "welfare check" on a frail elderly relative you are worried about? An officer must go to the home and do a welfare check, and the officer is NOT allowed to take the caretaker's "word for it"--the officer MUST see the elder and get a look at how they are being taken care of.
An Officer might go to that with a Social Worker, or, in some areas, the Call might get referred to Social Workers to go check out---either way, there is a check done.

At least by doing that, it might motivate the care-taking relatives to do "due diligence" in getting proper care.
OR, the people doing the welfare check will find things "appear to be fine", "within normal limits", and simply report back to you that.

It WILL create a record about Mom being cared for there.
And, some families call repeated welfare checks--creating a trail of reports that can be used as evidence, if they find anything.

I hope you find out what has been going on over there.
Definitely, questions need answered!
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Isolation is elder abuse by definition. something is fishy for sure. do they give a reason why other family members cannot see her try using email so you have documentation of replies ..also be careful what you say in the emails ....wow. the world is a crazy place. good luck and keep us posted. also i am told that you can get help from an attorney that is with legal aid..
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Wow! Can you say Narcissistic Personality Disorder?? Been doing a lot of research on that one lately (explains a lot about Mom).

Who gave your sis guardianship? A judge I assume. He should be able to make the call of who gets to visit.

Who pays sis? And how much? Is bro getting paid by sis AND living off of Mom? Something sounds really fishy here and your mom may be getting the "shaft" and you don't even know it. Someone needs to get in there and see how Mom is doing!
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I am not a lawyer but common sense tells me that "yes" you have a right to see your own mother. Children, depending on their ages and if they comprehend the seriousness of the present situation should also be aloud to visit their grandmother. The part of your story I feel uncomfortable with is why are they keeping your mother isolated? Is your sister or brother a doctor? Have either of them subscribed the need for isolation? Can you contact your mothers doctor or the hospital that attended her after her stroke to find out more information that about you mothers condition?

If I were you I would see a lawyer to see if your allowed access to your mother. Even local health department could be of some assistance. All in all the scenario you describe above does not sound right to me.
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