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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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4 months each. That would give us a break. Both siblings live out of state. My brother and wife work, my sister doesn't. Would this be too hard on her. Ass't Living Facility is costly.
Unfortunately - siblings tend to feel that the care we give THEIR PARENT should be completely voluntary and out of love and the kindness of our hearts - while they live their lives to the fullest and call once in a while or visit once a year or two. :0) And once it is all over (and in some cases - even before that - and that's a whole other story) any estate should be divided equally.
It is a RARE family who will come forward when all is said and done and say - geesh sis - we know you spent ten years caring for mom 24/7 - we think YOU should get the majority of what's left. It is NOT going to happen. Nope. Nada. You may or may not get a 'thank you' even.
Go for it. ... It's wonderful when siblings share what in my book is a huge family responsibility.
Have your siblings send pictures along with "I Miss You" cards. Then, in short plain English sentences, tell her you all love her company and want her to spend 4 months with each one of you. At 95 I'm sure she's still quite lucid, so choose your words carefully to make sure she doesn't feel like a foster child.
I am taking care of my 95 years old Mother on a 24/7 bases. How much sould I be getting for sacrificing my life for her from her estate?Hope to hear from some of you. Thanks.
I AM LOOKING FOR SOME ONE WHO CAN HELP TAKE CARE OF MY MOTHER SHE IS 93 . I WOULD LIKE SOME ONE WHO WANTS TO MOVE IN WITH HER ANDHAVE FREE ROOM AND BOARD AND BE PAYED 250 TO 300 A WEEK WE HAVE A CAR THAT CAN BE USED FOR SHOPING AND TAKEING TO THE DOCTOR DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN GO TO FIND SOME LIKE THIS I CAN TRUST
When my mother-in-law was first diagnosed with dementia, her primary doctor who is Asian, suggested that her three sons take rotating months taking care of her. While I held my breath, she said absolutely not. But then like I said her doctor is Asian, and it's normal with that culture for the sons to take care of their parents. She's in asst living now, and believe me I know it's expensive. She HATES the thought of spending all that money every month, but I told her that we were so thankful that her husband had made enough good decisions leaving her money in her old age, to take care of her. Otherwise the boys WOULD have to take care of her. One brother is 2 hours away and already said it wouldn't be him, the other brother travels much for his job, so that would leave us (rather me). While I love her and we get along great, it would be stressful she and I both know that. As far as the stealing stuff, my mother-in-law also thinks the girls that work there are stealing from her. It started out they were stealing her clocks, glasses, bananas and now it's her yogurt. She's eating, moving or hiding so many things that she can't find stuff anymore so she thinks it HAS GOT to be someone else. She knows I don't believe her and tell her that she's just forgetting, but she just says 'I know you think I'm making this stuff up, but I'm not, they really are stealing'. And we just forgive each others faulty thinking. ha.
I'm sure my siblings wouldn't help. It's just hard on my husband and our relationship.Mom won't let me bring anyone in to sit with her while going out for the evening. She does hallucinates and thinks I'm steeling some of her belongings. At times, she is very difficult and other times she's a sweetheart. Her Doctor feels that we should take away her checking account and be firmer with her. She receives Social Security and checks her bank account everyday to make sure I'm not taking any money. Can't imagine how feisty she'll be with me if it's taken away from her. I think my brother & sister will approve, especially since Mom doesn't live with them.
Yes, assisted living is costly, but changing the living situation of an elder that often could have very negative consequences. I'm not saying it couldn't work, and I definitely see that you all need breaks, but moving is hard on anyone that age. Confusion can set in to the point that it kicks memory issues and other behaviors into full-blown dementia territory. Of course, this could happen anyway. You'll have to figure out what is best based on her personality and the family needs, but my feeling is that moving her around won't be good for her. Good luck with whatever you choose. It's rarely an easy call. Carol
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It is a RARE family who will come forward when all is said and done and say - geesh sis - we know you spent ten years caring for mom 24/7 - we think YOU should get the majority of what's left. It is NOT going to happen. Nope. Nada. You may or may not get a 'thank you' even.
Go for it. ... It's wonderful when siblings share what in my book is a huge family responsibility.
Have your siblings send pictures along with "I Miss You" cards. Then, in short plain English sentences, tell her you all love her company and want her to spend 4 months with each one of you. At 95 I'm sure she's still quite lucid, so choose your words carefully to make sure she doesn't feel like a foster child.
-- ED
getting for sacrificing my life for her from her estate?Hope to hear from some of you. Thanks.
While I love her and we get along great, it would be stressful she and I both know that. As far as the stealing stuff, my mother-in-law also thinks the girls that work there are stealing from her. It started out they were stealing her clocks, glasses, bananas and now it's her yogurt. She's eating, moving or hiding so many things that she can't find stuff anymore so she thinks it HAS GOT to be someone else. She knows I don't believe her and tell her that she's just forgetting, but she just says 'I know you think I'm making this stuff up, but I'm not, they really are stealing'. And we just forgive each others faulty thinking. ha.
You'll have to figure out what is best based on her personality and the family needs, but my feeling is that moving her around won't be good for her.
Good luck with whatever you choose. It's rarely an easy call.
Carol