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I hope things have improved for you, Tygrlly. I just thought I'd add that I was told yesterday by a fellow resident of my mother's AL block, at church, that Mum had complained to her that she 'never sees us because we are always busy with the grandchildren now'. We had been away in June and October to help our daughter with her toddler while she had number two and our d-in-law who had a C-section - not unreasonable, I think. (We didn't *ask* to have four babies in three years, but not our choice...!) Mum had meals from church delivered, a carer to shop for her, and my brother's family round on her birthday. But because she likes to think of my husband as her property, she wasn't happy. I used to go into guilty/anxious mode but this time felt more sorry for the lady to whom she had moaned. Though she knows my mum stresses me, so shouldn't have said anything!
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tygrlly1 Jan 2022
Hi Helen
Thanks so much for thinking of me....my husband and I went to Mexico in November and I told my mother in no uncertain terms that we will be making sure she has groceries, etc...but that if she cannot manage without my constant attention and her expecting me to be at her beck and call , perhaps I need to speak to the Director of the beautiful retirement community she lives in about moving her into Assisted Living . Just today, I I had another blow up with her, after she again started putting down my husband for having me do her shopping instead of him doing it. She was used to being waited on by my handicapped father and feels men should dote on women..I reminded her that being needy and spoiled is not an attractive quality ....My thirty five year old son whi luves out of town just came down with a breakthrough COVID infection and when I told her this, she blew it off and turned it around to her health. I cant wait until my life will begin finally when hers ends..if I can survive that long. She is only the woman who gave birth to me....very different that my perception of what a mother is.
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