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Is it expensive? What are things they did that helped you and/or your loved one the most?


One thing I’m looking for is someone who can keep tabs on the nursing staff and address any problems.

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What problems do you anticipate having?

If you want to hire a private caregiver to be a constant companion for your mother, that's one thing, but no nursing home will allow a spy to oversee what they do. That isn't what a geriatric care manager does anyway.

Either find a place you trust from the get-go, or don't place your mother in a memory care. Do your research, get referrals, check your state's websites for complaints, then make an informed decision.

The most important thing to do when you have a loved one in a nursing home is to establish an open and friendly line of communication with the administration and nursing staff. They are your best allies for keeping up with what's going on with your loved one. I think you're planning to do the exact opposite, and that won't go well no matter how hard you try to fix it later.

It's a bit like when we all had children in school. If you were "that mother" who was always griping about the teachers or homework, a little note went into your child's record for every subsequent teacher to see, and believe me, your kid paid the price through the years.

Don't be that daughter either. Pick your battles, and don't expect the worst from the people who have chosen a career caring for our most vulnerable seniors.
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The court assigned my mom a GCM (family dysfunction). Yes, it was expensive, $110.00/hr. Her purpose was to determine whether the home care mom was receiving was adequate and appropriate. When the time came the GCM also helped to find an appropriate facility for mom.

Before mom is placed would be the time to employ the aid of a GCM. If mom has been placed and you think there is something, not right, mom's needs not being met or mom being abused in some way then you would contact the Area Agency on Aging and ask the ombudsmen to check on mom.

It sounds as if you want someone to report to you on how mom is being cared for. If that is the case is sounds like maybe, just maybe you need to let go a bit. Learn to assist the staff by being supportive of their efforts. Don't look for things to be wrong.
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I have a care manager for my dad. I am his legal guardian but I work full-time so she keeps tabs with the memory care (previous to that, skilled nursing), and makes all the arrangements for any appointments needed and transportation. She also attends some of his appointments with him. She is able to talk to medical staff and facilities in a way that I can't. She understands the 'system' better than me and knows when to raise a red flag, which rarely happens. She does not visit the memory care often and definitely doesn't do any micromanaging. But she is always working in the background. She is a godsend, as I could never do all of this on my own. I am lucky that dad has the means to pay for this. About $100 per hour, or about $300 to $1000 per month depending on how much time she has spent.
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