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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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When I toured facilities I was told they have a lot of dementia patients in assisted living when they have a spouse who is pretty pulled together and lives with the dementia patient in the assisted living.
If you are asking about your husband in MC who's "gone back to normal" with Depakote, I doubt the administration would allow him to go into regular AL. With a history of violent behavior, it's too risky. While it's great that Depakote is working so well for the past 9 months, there's no telling how long it will continue working for. It could be years or months, nobody can say. You can always have that conversation though.
Thank you so much for your input and confirmation. It was suggested by a rogue doctor, newly hired as my husband's primary care physician as he travels to the MCF to see my husband. He isn't my husband's neurologist nor is he the one who prescribed the Depakote. Worse was that he actually told my husband that he didn't belong in memory care and should be in AL, without consulting me first. This dr had never consulted with me regarding my husband's medical history at all nor did he coordinate with my husband's neurologist at Stanford. He's spewing out things like maybe your husband doesn't have dementia, suggesting another very expensive test. I researched and found that this test should be done only after dementia has been ruled out... duh ... plus the cure was high dosage shots of steroids!! Anyhow, logically I know this is all ludicrous, but I just have to ask the question in the spirit of leaving no stones unturned. Moreover, my husband has 3 police case files of the three episodes when I had to call 911 on him. Anyhow, I will discontinue service with this doctor ASAP.
SOS369, I've never heard of that before. Note, that before that can be done, the Adm Staff at the facility would need to give approval, and probably test the resident to see if that was a good idea.
I did. My mom was pretty functional. We were not sure what was best and started in memory care. In a few days it was clear that it was substantially lower in cognitive levels than she was. Most patients were non verbal. I moved her to the ALF side. She was not quite strong enough for that but seemed to thrive better with folks that she could talk to.
it is hard when their capabilities are in the middle.
Is this a hypothetical question? One can only assume that one would be moved from MC to ALF if the person improved. This is, while rare, certainly possible.
There is also a movement now to have a sort of inbetween. My brother died in a fabulous ALF 5 years ago. At the time, the faciliy, based on cottages, were making some of the cottages a sort of inbetween in which there was slightly better staffing tho not so good as MC. Clients could still have their own rooms, but were more closely monitored and checked on. The doors were locked which didn't happen in ALF. I think it is a wonderful model for those willing to and able to create in of their community.
I have not yet here on AC in 5 years heard of anyone moving a loved one out of MC and back into ALF. I HAVE heard of them removing from MC and taking home with 24/7 care model.
Thanks for your input. My husband has a history of violence under this disease. There's no way I can/will bring him home. Although he's been doing really well the past 9 months with adjusted meds, there's no guarantee he would stay this way or for how long.
My husband has LBD too. Medicines can make him calmer, but it is not always controllable. He got better by Depakote too. It looks pretty effective for mood control with this. Generally speaking, MC has the staff who knows and can handle better than ALF. But when you look for MC for him, you need to make sure the stuff knows he has LBD and not Alzheimer. Some place will tell you they won't receive him because of all the psychosis, agitation, etc. etc. So, you need to keep looking until you find the place who has people who knows what is LBD and they know how to handle it. Think about what if he gets agitated in ALF and hurt others. Leaving him in the place where people doesn't know how to handle him is not safe for both of them. And it is very true that he sometimes has a moment that his mind is so clear, and you feel guilty to have him in MC with other dementia patients. You need to think of the pros and cons of where to leave him. I agree the home is not safe for you. I called police several times to deescalated his agitation too. But it breaks my heart looking at him staying alone at MC, crying and telling me that he cannot do anything he used to do. Just try to be with him as much as possible no matter where you are. That is all I can tell you. Good luck with you and your husband wherever you decide to place him. Nowhere is perfect. And both of you will get hurt emotionally anyways. So be strong and always avocate/support him.
Magir64, Thank you for sharing and your advice! In my logical mind, I know what must be done, as hard as it is, but I just want to make sure I am choosing the right path. I asked the posting question to leave no stone unturned. Seriously, no one can feel the pain of separation and the loss of a loved one to this horrible disease or the tough decisions we must make unless they have witnessed or lived through what we have.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Good luck to you.
it is hard when their capabilities are in the middle.
One can only assume that one would be moved from MC to ALF if the person improved. This is, while rare, certainly possible.
There is also a movement now to have a sort of inbetween. My brother died in a fabulous ALF 5 years ago. At the time, the faciliy, based on cottages, were making some of the cottages a sort of inbetween in which there was slightly better staffing tho not so good as MC. Clients could still have their own rooms, but were more closely monitored and checked on. The doors were locked which didn't happen in ALF. I think it is a wonderful model for those willing to and able to create in of their community.
I have not yet here on AC in 5 years heard of anyone moving a loved one out of MC and back into ALF. I HAVE heard of them removing from MC and taking home with 24/7 care model.