My mother is struggling greatly being confined to her room. Her mental state is worsening by the day, and she’s becoming helpless. Today she couldn’t sort out how to operate the remote control for her television (she didn’t have any cognitive issues prior to isolation). She said she’s very weak and felt like she couldn’t walk anymore. She keeps crying and saying she can’t handle this - being alone with no one to talk too. I talk to her briefly during the day a few times, with a longer call in the evening. Long-term, it would not work well for her to live with me. We’ve tried it before, and I am out of the house 11 to 12 hours a day for work. She felt very lonely. Assisted-living has been great for her, and she was very active and a resident leader prior to isolation. We are significantly invested in terms of paying privately and being eligible for Medicaid sometime later this year. I’m just becoming very concerned that she will not bounce back mentally from this ordeal, and have no clue as to how long isolation will last.
Your mother may suffer some cognitive decline as a result of being isolated; in fact, they ALL might. My mother seems to be in a very agitated mood lately, making up stories about family members who've died from COVID-19, which is a bald faced lie. Lots of ugly behaviors are coming out right now for many elders (and non-elders alike), but I don't believe we can 'fix' this situation. It has the potential to go on for quite some time, too, for ALL of us, at home, in ALFs, in nursing homes, everywhere. Every day I call my mother (who lives in a Memory Care ALF) and talk her down off the ledge she's teetering on for the moment. I give her practical advice and listen to endless complaining about how awful the food is and all sorts of other things. It is what it is. All in all, I believe she's safe where she's at, and would be no better off at my house. In any event, there's no way I could possibly care for her here even if I wanted to; she has way too many issues including being wheelchair bound and incontinent, which is out of the scope of my abilities.
We daughters have to realize we can't fix everything for our mothers. Heck, we can't even fix this for ourselves! Tons of people everywhere are depressed, anxious, and even suffering stress disorders. Perhaps your mom's doc can prescribe a mild sedative for her or an anti-depressant if you think she's headed in that direction. Give the doc a call and have a chat; I think that's your best bet.
If, however, you feel it's a good idea to take her into your home, then by all means, do so.
Wishing you the best of luck moving forward.
The reasons I used to get her to move have all but erased, social interactions to help with dementia, joining a service group there to give her a sense of purpose cancelled. She lived with me 6 mo prior to move, and I was exhausted and burnt out.
She had a bad fall 2 weeks prior to move in, which after an overnight hospital stay, seemed to exhabarate her sundowning, confusion and anxiety. The doctor seemed to think that was bc of the trauma, and waiting to move in would just reset the clock on that. But here we are, and there is more change and more isolation. And she is lonely and just has no hobbies and I vacillate between feeling that I need to go get her and knowing I probably cant handle having her here again indefinitely. If she leaves the facility, they wont let her come back, until all shelter in place is lifted
Her confusion and sundowning are definitely worse, but is it because of this situation or just the disease progression. The doctor recommended increasing her Sertraline from 25 mg to 50, and Seroquel from 12.5 mg to 25 to help.
Right now we have decided to ride it out, but if there is Covid issue there bring her home. It's hard because when she sundown in evening, in her confusions moves things around, "packs" and then cant find things the next day when she is clear. Wouldn't be a problem, but I cant come in and fix it back up.
We bought her a Portal, and now we and her frinds and family can all video chat, which helps a little. Sometimes she packs it up at night, but they just plug it back in for her. It's been nice because she recognizes people better when she sees us, and I can share pictures for her to look at when not using it to talk. I can see if she looks well, has changed her clothes, and some of the room condition.
Ssorry to hijack your thread to vent. But there are lots of us in the same boat. We are all doing the best we can