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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Don't move her back no matter what she says. Half the battle is done now that you have her physically close to you. AL sounds like the right thing, and an AL near to where you live so you can check on her. Trying to take care of an elder when you live out of state can be a nightmare .Yes, she probably will get angry at you but at this point she isn't making rational decisions.
You are correct, your Mom would be better off in the right *pond*, and it would be best to move her now so she can adjust to the layout of the facility, still have memory for meeting new people, and to settle into her new home. For her to settle in, it's my understanding from what I have read, that it can take a couple of months, so limit your visits during that time frame.... in the meantime your Mom could be asking to move back *home* which is a common request.
Sounds like you and your sister have made excellent plans for your Mom's care.... good choices :)
You can build on what you've accomplished with her so far. Steel yourself as she will still fight it and cry for home...maybe you can bring or pack up and ship some favorite things from home like bedding, familiar rug, favorite chair, side table, lamp and pictures, paintings, etc and recreate that "place" in her new home so it feels homey and familiar to her. Consider asking sis to take pics of neighborhood, favorite restaurants, stores, neighbors, flowerbeds, etc that you can put in a photo album for mom to have.
I envy you. I would love my mom to come but she only wants to live with me -which is a big NO and further she only wants me to move to her town...she refuses to move to AL or anyplace and legally I can't force. It's sad as she is so lonely.
Oh yes. It's so important to make sure they are in the right place that can provide the right level of care. It sounds like you have done all the right things.
My loved one hasn't asked to go home since she's gone into a Secure Memory Care facility, but she did some, when she was in a regular Assisted Living Facility. I think that for some people they stop asking about going back home.
I know that when my LO was in her most recent hospital stay, she told she just wanted to go home....no matter which home it was! That was pretty insightful coming from a person with severe dementia.
My loved one never mentions her house anymore, although she will bring up an apt she lived in during the 1980's.
I've made her room as comfortable as possible, but I find she isn't that interested in lots of things. She likes certain photos of family and friends, a throw on her bed, and that's about it. Things like books, tv, etc. no longer interest her very much. It just depends on the person and where they are in their illness.
Sorry, I thought I was searching for a question, not posting one!! Here's the situation. My Mom is 82, lives in Pennsylvania. My sister lives in Baltimore, about 2 1/2 drive from her. Mom had bi-lateral knee replacement surgery on July 2, 2014. BTW, my Dad passed away in April, 2013. Mom did not do the Rehab as directed and did not do the daily exercises. Her left knee is now very limited in movement. Her drivers license was revoked in PA. So, she lives at home in a 55/over community with no transportation. She has 2 sisters and 1 brother who live close by, within 15 miles. But, one has Parkinson's Disease and is in an Assisted Living facility and the other has a husband who suffered multiple strokes. So, there is not much help there. My sister and I decided to bring her to Arizona for a "visit", with the intention of her staying with us permanently or until she needs assisted living services. Her dementia is progressing and she does not want to be here even after on a week of being here. My sister and I visited 4 memory care facilities here and it was suggested by more than one that she needs to be the correct "pond", so to speak. In other words, she will never feel safe in our home, but she will feel better if she is with people who have the same issues that she has. My sister, wife and I are trying to decide the right thing to do here. My sister goes back to Maryland tomorrow, so it is just the wife and I as caregivers. (My sister is a retired RN, so she knows how to deal with this to a point). Any thoughts?
Thanks to freqflyer, texarkana and sunflo2 for sharing your thoughts and experiences with me. I appreciate it very much and will take your input to heart.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Sounds like you and your sister have made excellent plans for your Mom's care.... good choices :)
I envy you. I would love my mom to come but she only wants to live with me -which is a big NO and further she only wants me to move to her town...she refuses to move to AL or anyplace and legally I can't force. It's sad as she is so lonely.
My loved one hasn't asked to go home since she's gone into a Secure Memory Care facility, but she did some, when she was in a regular Assisted Living Facility. I think that for some people they stop asking about going back home.
I know that when my LO was in her most recent hospital stay, she told she just wanted to go home....no matter which home it was! That was pretty insightful coming from a person with severe dementia.
My loved one never mentions her house anymore, although she will bring up an apt she lived in during the 1980's.
I've made her room as comfortable as possible, but I find she isn't that interested in lots of things. She likes certain photos of family and friends, a throw on her bed, and that's about it. Things like books, tv, etc. no longer interest her very much. It just depends on the person and where they are in their illness.
Here's the situation. My Mom is 82, lives in Pennsylvania. My sister lives in Baltimore, about 2 1/2 drive from her. Mom had bi-lateral knee replacement surgery on July 2, 2014. BTW, my Dad passed away in April, 2013. Mom did not do the Rehab as directed and did not do the daily exercises. Her left knee is now very limited in movement. Her drivers license was revoked in PA. So, she lives at home in a 55/over community with no transportation. She has 2 sisters and 1 brother who live close by, within 15 miles. But, one has Parkinson's Disease and is in an Assisted Living facility and the other has a husband who suffered multiple strokes. So, there is not much help there. My sister and I decided to bring her to Arizona for a "visit", with the intention of her staying with us permanently or until she needs assisted living services. Her dementia is progressing and she does not want to be here even after on a week of being here. My sister and I visited 4 memory care facilities here and it was suggested by more than one that she needs to be the correct "pond", so to speak. In other words, she will never feel safe in our home, but she will feel better if she is with people who have the same issues that she has. My sister, wife and I are trying to decide the right thing to do here. My sister goes back to Maryland tomorrow, so it is just the wife and I as caregivers. (My sister is a retired RN, so she knows how to deal with this to a point). Any thoughts?