I've posted recently about the problems I've had with my husband. He recently underwent coronary artery bypass grafting that failed and was in ICU unconscious for 12 days. He has been moved to the floor but is unable to walk and use his arms/hands correctly. He also has ICU psychosis. He has been spewing hateful things to me and the nurses - things I've heard before. They are recommending a short-term rehab facility. My choices are rehab only or a nursing home that does rehab. I believe he will regain full cognizance - he is just mean as hell! I know my kids will hate me if I make him a ward of the State and place him in a care facility (He has the money to pay for it) but they would be little to no help. What are your experiences in going against your children for this?
I think you need to have a sit down with the discharge planners and indicate that you will be seeking a rehab unit that will be able to provide long term care as you will no longer be available as his caregiver due to his abuse.
Have you seen a divorce attorney? I think that you probably need to seek out a law firm that includes eldercare, divorce and estate planning specialties.
If he is deemed competent, he won't need to become a ward of the state. If he is not competent, the kids should feel free to step in and direct his care.
You know your kids will hate you... Why do you think so?
Could you get them onto the job of finding an appropriate facility for him? It will at least shut them up for a while! In terms of experience, you aren't going to make your kids happy with the outcome, but after it is in place the aggro is going to drop down. Just make sure that they know about the money, so that the end result isn't going to blow it all up again.