I almost single-handedly care for my father. Brother helps a little but works 14-hour days and must spend a lot of time with his wife. Friends either disappear, have their own medical problems, or are often too busy to help. Paid nurses often cannot come at times I need help. I live in a cold climate and cannot leave the house, due to a skin condition, when it's below about 20 deg, as it is almost all the time now, so forget about going out to walk or exercise. I have had to cancel my therapist and psychiatrist visits because I cannot get to them due to the weather. I am living on a razor edge, falling apart whenever things go even a little wrong. I have to handle my father's physical therapy to maintain what strength he has, because of having to cancel so many PT appointments due to the weather. Plus, of course, there is endless cleaning, dressing and undressing, food and dishes, in a dust moldy house I am not even supposed to be living in due to severe allergies. Are there other caregivers out there like me? There is not much of a caregiver support network in my area, and I couldn't get out to meetings anyhow, so am hoping for a little comfort and helpful suggestions online.
You need a break. You have to start to build a support system. Can you ask your therapist if he can skype your appointments, you need him, find a way to see him. Call or google your county aging office. Everyone has some version of it. They might be able to get your Dad to rehab for you, and give you a much needed break. They also have adult daycare. Is your Dad a veteran? Google www.caregiver.va.gov, they can give money, respite care, support. If your father has the money, hire a housecleaner, she will take that burden off you, relieve some of your allergies, and be company. If he doesn't this is something your brother can do to help. Can't help with time, then your brother can give money. Check with your Dad's Dr , Medicare will pay for someone to assist with bathing, wound care, and pt. All this takes time and effort, but it is worth it.
Encourage your friends to visit.I am sorry I am rushed for time. We are here for you. We understand, come here to vent, get advice, or just feel less alone.
As you know so well, isolating yourself is really bad for your disorder. I know the weather contributes to isolation, so you'll have to be creative. Is there a friend or two who can come visit you? I used to schedule phone lunches with a friend who is in another state. This site and perhaps others focussed on something you are interested in can fill the place of interacting with others. (I belonged to a cake decorating forum for years.) Just don't sit at home alone with only your Dad for company!
I know that you need to see your psychiatrist in order to have your prescriptions renewed. Somehow that has to happen. Would the doctor be willing to do phone visits when the temperature is low?
As Kathy also suggested, call or google your state's aging office. Another resource is your county social services office. You may be surprised at the kind of assistance your dad is eligible for.
Do you have a case worker? He or she would be a good resource to help you get your own needs met and also to suggest sources of aid for your father.
It sounds like something also needs to be done regarding your housing. Your case worker may be able to help with that, too. Is this a house owned by your Dad?
Next, take action on those things that can be fixed. For example, people can be hired to treat the mold, to deep-clean the house and to assist on a regular basis with your father's care.
Also you've received clever suggestions from others about keeping current with your therapy, getting exercise and artificial sunlight. These things actually work!
Or, it could be that you just plain don't want to be with your father any more and should look into alternatives for both of you. I know this is difficult if you feel depressed, so please first get yourself on an even keel. Good luck and God bless.
Sounds very challenging to deal with even in the best of weather, certainly the cold adds more obstacles. I cannot really relate, my mom is mobile and requires less help, and I am in sunny Miami. I just wanted to reach out and wish you well.
Any good shows to watch on TV? Maybe download something from Netflix? Or download a good book? Beyond the tough work of caregiving, being cooped up would really get to me. Any support groups that can have online meetings?
Wishing you well.
L
There are caregiver support organizations that are in a better position to provide you with help, they have expert that could provide you with plans on how to handle things. Check this list, and you might want to contact them: http://www.infolongtermcare.org/senior-caregiver-support/elderly-caregiver-support-organization/, they are trusted organizations with good credibility ratings. Hope this helps )