My main problem is that I can't drive (never have). I'm 70 years old and my husband has been fighting stage IV lung cancer for a little over 3 years now. His cancer is "stable" but everything else is breaking down. He has had 2 mini strokes, shingles, diabetic coma (blood sugar dropped to 24 due to illness that caused dehydration), lose of stability (says his legs are very weak and start giving out on him when he has been standing for less then a few mins., We also have a two level townhouse with the shower and baths upstairs with the bedrooms. My husband has been sleeping on the couch (I use a baby monitor to hear if he needs me during the night). So when he wants to take a shower I have to give him enough support to get up the stairs and into the shower and back down. He has also lost control of his bowel during the night. I wanted to get in home services to at least help him get to his shower but he doesn't want a stranger in the house. I'm also a 16 year breast cancer survivor and I don't have very much strength myself.
This sounds like a dangerous situation for both of you and I think you should be prepared to make a decision quickly for the safety of you both. If you would revel the city you are in, I would be happy to investigate services to you in greater detail.
Also, check into hospice, as difficult as a decision as that is, sounds like a good solution as well. Hospice can be offered to you at no cost in any setting--home, assisted living, nursing home, or even hospital. They take care of everything from meds to bathing to medications. His doctor must think that he has less than six months to live, but that's not set in stone and the hospice can continue. With hospice you just must decide that curative treatments will no longer take place, ie chemo.
Now is a good time to make sure that all of your wills and other documents are in place!!!!
Take care and best wishes!