Hello,
My dad is nearly ninety years old and my mum is eighty five. My mum suffers with dementia, and is getting visibly worse as the months go by. We have had great support from our local GP, and my mum was seen by a wonderful memory specialist at Ipswich hospital.
My worry is my dad. Although he is coping well at the moment, he always looks exhausted as he has to do everything in the house and garden, and all the housework etc.
My mum can cook occasionally, but my dad has to supervise her every move.
I wonder if there is any help they qualify for.
I hope you can offer me some advice on this matter.
Many thanks,
K. Parker
Bless your dad he wants to do it all but he cant and maybe his pride stops him from asking for help but if i cant cope at my age imagine just how tired he must be?
But I would suggest that he re-prioritize what he's doing. Some things don't have to be done as often. Help him realize that, and that taking time for himself is just as important as mowing the lawn, etc.
If they can afford it, hiring neighborhood helpers for yard and garden work will eliminate one of the most arduous chores for an elderly person.
You can help with the cooking; make large batches of food and take over meal sized portions for your parents. Then your mother can cook every other day or so and they'll both get a rest for that.
If you do live outside the US and have something like our Meals on Wheels, investigate that. The meals are decent and would eliminate preparation of at least one meal daily. My father makes 2 meals out of his MOW, so he only has to fix breakfast and meals on the weekend.
Make a list of the other chores your father, such as the housework as Kazaa suggested, and think of ways that others can help with them. If you have siblings, perhaps you can take turns helping with grocery shopping, medical appointments, etc.