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Hello , my mum has been diagnosed with alzheimer two years since then it been a long and painful journey but since three months now everything went from worse. She now is paranoid think that some of our neighbors want to kill her she made up a story that our neighbor who have a child want to kill her cause her child is crying. So here I am trying to deal with that I have only 18 years old and I'm alone all my family lives in another country my dad died when I was nine and don't have siblings and I'm currently in university trying to do have my degree in English I survived the first semester but I can't anymore my refuse to stay alone at home by herself she says to me me if you leave me once you come back you will find me dead so I'm can do nothing if I leave her I'm scared that she can go out or do something dangerous. Even if I'm at home she still scared she have some crisis where she cry hit herself want to go out cause she think they coming for her I'm living in a flat so I can control the noises of the neighbor when they walk down the stairs or something , with that she refuse to go to the toilette. I can go to uni or even go to the store without her and she doesn't sleep she scared alone but the night is the only time I can have for myself to stay a little bit alone work or read or just sleep but she keep waking up cry and let the light on shut everything down reassure her saying everything is ok the doors are closed no one can enter and if they are in going to call the police I'm here but nothing I'm so tired I tried drugs but nothing I'm hopeless she refuse daily care help she want no one but me I can let her with some of her friend and go to uni but its not a solution they have they own lives too, and I don't want to place her she is my mum we have lived always together I have no one but her if I place no matter the consequences I will never find peace again and live normally. I no that so il asking for help and advices from your hoping that some of you have lived that type of symptoms. By the way I'm living in France.

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Hi Ourida
I’m sorry you and your mum are having this problem.
Have her checked for urinary tract infection (UTI). This is a simple pee test. The cure is the right antibiotic. If she is having a UTI it can make her have symptoms such as you mentioned. UTIs can be fatal. Also she may need her meds adjusted. Hopefully the paranoia will pass soon.
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I don't know what your options are in France. I hope someone can give you specific ideas.

Is your mother still seeing the doctor who diagnosed her dementia? Have you told this doctor about your mother's severe symptoms? A geriatric psychiatrist would be a good specialist to consult as well. Your mother's problems are medical, and she needs to be seen by a medical professional.

I don't know how social services work in France, but you need help caring for your mom. Is there an agency that deals with problems of the elderly? Or those with mental health issues? You need someone who is trained to work with paranoia to spend time with your mother in her flat, while you go to uni and get on with your life.

You say you have tried drugs ... for her or for yourself? Prescribed by a doctor? Your poor mother is terrified and you are miserable.

Paranoia is very common in dementia. It often doesn't last the entire time. In my husband's case it lasted a few months. But even if this phase goes away, there will be other problems. You really need to establish help now, even if she resists it.
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Thank you for answering to my question , yes she saw a neurologist 2 even who diagnosed alzheimer demencia 2 years from now the neurologist gave her treatment who is Donepezil escitaloprane I don't know if you have the same there but it's the treatment which it's given here so therefore for half and a year it was fine at the beginning it was hard I was depressed and she was doing nothing just sleeping and she didn't care about anything then with the spring she started to be active again I started to be good again as she was getting more joyful there a days good and other bad but overall she was good but then since September she started to change she was afraid to let me go outside saying did you see what is going on television they gonna kidnap you she started to not make difference between reality and fiction so there for she lost there interest in television which was the only activity she used to do she doesn't know how to read or write and she doesn't talk a lot of French so it's complicated everything for example saying a psychologist or with the help at home cause she have the right to have someone at home but she refused for her she is not sick she doesn't see why she need someone so I have took an appointements with the neurologist but it's not until June so I see my doctor generalist I don't know how it called in English but it the doctor of everyday so he is giving me the treatment and changing the doses so When she started to have paranoïa he gave her neuroleptiques anti psychotropes called tercian to 4 5 drops but nothing so he told me that right now she needed maybe to be hospitalized in a specified unity who welcome people with demencia who have new symptômes who appeared as walking a lot peeing or hallucination therefor there stars everything from the beginning follow the patient days and night and try to see what treatment is the best for them but I don't know cause she will refused I will be obligated to take her and she will cry and maybe hate me and be traumatized cause we never separated ourselves from together we are always together so I'm so sacred and I feel guilty no matter what I'do i don't feel fine or at peace some of my family say that she need to change the treatment and see a new neurologist and go to the hospital and tomorrow I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow and see what we can do about all of this , and no I never thought about an infection and now I feel stressed about that what are the symptoms of this ?
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The UTI will manifest as increased dementia.
The only way to tell is if she gets the test. Very inexpensive but must be treated by an antibiotic. The dr you see today should be able to help.
In the elderly they do not always have burning or frequency of urination. But the infection can poison the whole system and cause your Mum to be very sick.
You must be brave and not worry if your mum gets angry. She won’t remember that but you will know you got her the care she needed. She needs your help to get her the care. It is not a one person job. Let us know what the dr says.
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Thank you for you answers I will let you know , the hardest part is to calm her down when she is paranoid she stars to cry and say they coming to kill me and I don't know what to do even if I try to calm her and say everything is alright she still cry so sometime a let her cry but I feel guilty cause I don't really how to deal with that.
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