My 88 year old father wants to buy a new car. The car he has now, he put in my name and it is insured under my name. He can not drive. His reaction time is too slow. I'm not sure if it's the driving thing, but the whole "buying" a new car is just not necessary. And I feel that we should save his money for the future in case I need to hire nursing care. I just can't seem to get that through to him! How do I convince him that the car he has is great and we need to watch his spending???? I realize it's his money. And I do not want any of it. Still... what if I do have to put him in assisted living? I don't want to, but I know that there may be a day that I just won't physically be able to take care of him on my own. He wants me to take him THIS Wednesday to go look for a car.
Also, he would not be able to learn all the new technology in the new cars. I can barely manage them. The prices alone may blow him away. Tell him whatever therapeutic fib you can come up with to put it off. Replacing his need to drive by arranging for trusted family, friends, neighbors and church/synagogue members to take him out and about will be more interesting to him than just driving. That strategy worked with my my elderly aunts in FL. I had different people take them to their medical, hair and other appointments. I secretly gave the drivers a gc to a well-loved or convenient restaurant. When they went to their appointment the driver would offer to take them out to lunch. They loved it. I wish you much courage, wisdom and peace in your heart on how to handle this.
I would never have put a car and insurance in my name and then allow an 80 something person to drive it. Its you that pays the price if he kills someone driving. Its you who could lose everything u worked for. When my Mom could no longer drive we sold her car. Out of sight out of mind.
Not really sure how to handle this situation. We use the same dealer all the time so we may get him to play along. You know, letting Dad look at the cars in the lot. Then sitting him down and saying they need to look into something before they can do the paperwork? The only thing that comes into mind would tell him that because of COVID you now need to make an appt with the dealer and they are all booked up.
Its really hard to get something out of their head. You really can't let him buy a car. There is some Dementia here if you can't reason with him. A dealership should not even sell him a car because he really can no longer make informed decisions. Maybe just let him look?
Hope you get some good suggestions.
What is his diagnosis? That is to say does he have dementia and do you have doctor's acknowledgement that he should not be in charge of this sort of decision? Are you his Financial POA? Have you arranged his money so that accounts are managed by you, with his having no charge cards and only an allowance of money?
If none of the above pertains, and he is competent but making bad decisions, then it would apply to half our population, being competent but unwise.
I certainly would not accompany him to look for a car. If he is competent and unwise enough to do this, then yes, there will be fewer funds for him when it needs to be sold in order to place him in care later. Nothing depreciated so quickly as a new car.
Just don't buy one.
If that is the case.... could you indulge your 88 year old Dad?
If not, that's ok. But- maybe cars is his way of living it up. Men like to fix things and feel needed at any age.