My mom insists that she wants to continue to live in her own home. She is sound mind. Short of breath and such low energy. Losing weight. Some times it is so scary, I don't want to leave her house. Yesterday I was afraid she would not wake from her nap. I called the cardiologist and got an appointment for her for today, but while I showed up at her house feeling OK... I didn't exercise, my hip is in terrible pain when I walk, I feel like crying, cancelled time with my son who I haven't seen since January. This morning I can hardly move. I need to be strong so that mom doesn't see how worried I am.
BTW, when she woke up after an extraordinarily long nap, she was better and said I shouldn't have cancelled on my son. I got home and ate fudgecicles for dinner... could go a long way to explaining why I feel so terrible this morning.
Mom interviewed the daughter of someone who does 'healthy bones' exercises with her, and acquaintence. The daughter is lovely, younger than me, lives closer than me, is happy to go to mom's house and spend time with her. This woman can be helpful, but the ugly truth is that I feel like I've disappointed my mom because I haven't given up my home (I quit my job... stress), and I'm not there 100% of the time. When I see my mom like she was yesterday, I had to coax her to eat something for breakfast, lunch and dinner, it is beyond sad ... it drains the life out of me.
To get her to the cardiologist I cancelled all of the things I planned today, but I don't feel like doing them anyway... It's a terrible cycle and I'm struggling to find ways to stay happy and strong.. seeing her this way knows the life out of me and that's no good for her. I should be thankful I've had mom around for many, many years and I should be able to help her fade away in comfort and with some joy... but it's crushing me.
Even when we aren't helping 24 hours a day, the people we care for are still on our minds. Five minutes rarely pass that I'm not thinking something about caregiving. It makes it hard to have a life of my own. I know there's nothing I can do to make my mother well, but it is like a part of me keeps searching for the solution to the age problem. And another part of me gets mad and upset because I feel I'm in a hopeless situation.
It is not easy to watch our parents fade. Sometimes I think the wonders of medicine are a cruel thing in prolonging life when many are so sick when they get old. We would have to have exceptional strength to not be torn apart by the slow decline of our parents. Sometimes I wish we could all be completely healthy until our last day when, poof!, it would be over.
My good thoughts are with you. {{{{sooozi}}}}
Let us know how the therapy goes (((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))
Sadly, one morning she didn't wake up. We had a wonderful evening the night before she passed away. She had wanted pizza and had a piece and a half, before she went to bed with her new Kindle (she loved to read and it was a good way to read in the dark with out having to stretch to turn a light on and off). I could see she read 22% of her book, she ate half an apple and part of a banana that I had left by her bed.
While I am very sad she is gone now, I am so thankful that I had the time that I did with her. Your kind posts really helped me through this challenging time and most recently it was wonderful to spend time with her. We both were kind to each other and I changed her nail polish that last night.
I can not thank you all enough for listening, allowing me to share my story and for sharing your very kind and good advice.
I really understand what you are going thru. My mother was diagnosed Jan 2012 w/ chf, I was devestated . She also has high Bp , dibetes, and dementia. She lives with me that would be the only way I could possibly take care of her. My mother is a 24/7 job and I also take care of my disabeled husband. There is never time for me and lets not even talk about the way my house looks. Kinda like a giant picked my house up and shook it and then set it back down!!! Ha Ha!! Thats life though!!I cant really do any thing about it because my siblings are useless and my husbands family just doesnt care, they never come by to see if he needs anything. So its all me. Finally last wk. I found a caregiver who is very lovely and I think this just might work out. Now I just have to get my crazy dirty unorganized house in order so that we might all be able to work together. The way I found my caregiver is that I just kept asking around, and I've been thru 3 caregivers and an agency (that was a mistake) One person will ask another and before you know will end up with with a great caregiver. Just dont stop asking, because if you cant get there once there are agencies that can be there right away,. so dont give up!!!!!