My mother, who has Alzheimer's just lost her beloved dog after a terrible storm. We have no idea what has become of him. He was given to her after the death of my father 6yrs. ago and she cannot get over losing him. Every morning the grieving process starts again. Does anyone have any suggestions to help us help her get over this an move on? My heart seeing how much grief she is in.
As suggested, depending on her mental capacity, the idea of saying that a family with children has the dog now and that the children love the dog may help. All of the ideas are good ones. Just understanding her grief and validating it is vital. Much of the rest depends on her mental and physical health.
Please update us. This is something everyone can learn from.
Carol
What you might try is to locate pet service organizations and see what facilities they go to, then take your mother there to interact with a service dog that's been trained for older people. If she enjoys it and it makes her feel better, you could consider getting another dog.
In the meantime, have you contacted a pet finders group? Put up notices in local stores, papers? Contacted local rescue groups and shelters? Perhaps someone has found the dog and is searching for his home.
Something that can also work, depending on her cognitive level, is to get a stuffed toy dog. Even though it can't interact, just petting the soft fur can be calming.
Another option is to tell her is what another poster calls a therapeutic fib...that you contacted shelters and someone found the dog and brought it home for their young child, who just adores the dog, and the child would be very upset if the dog were taken away. Then segue into whether she'd like another dog of her own.
Grieving isn't about getting over and forgetting, it's about coming to terms and feeling better and living with the grief in a way that it doesn't interfere with your life. Your poor mother :( losing a pet is so devastating, especially in her condition.
I hope she finds some peace.
My mom actually killed her dog by overfeeding him--though I was actively begging her not to. But she could not remember. However, about two weeks after his death, she didn't even remember having him!!!!!
Dogs are wonderful for elders. But elders are not always wonderful for dogs. I would be very wary of getting her another one if she would have to care for it on her own.
There is just so much that goes into the making of the human/dog bond, nothing really replaces it. I've been involved in rescue since I was in grade school, had many of my own dogs as well. They are all so individual, there are certain ones that we just "click" with, I remember most of them, but one in particular still stands out, ...even though she passed 17 years ago. There's no replacing or forgetting that, ...hard to explain. At least I do know what happened to her, that has to be really hard for your Mom wondering. Her mind may be going back to the start of their relationship, (just as we think over, start to finish, our relationships with humans after we lose them). That could be bringing out some of the hurt of losing your Dad. Especially if the dog became a great distraction and "friend" when she needed it most. Fingers crossed for you, hope you find him, it's going to be a really long time if you don't.
Thanks for sharing the happy update.
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