Problems arise in that we found a home for a Mama cat and 4 kittens, they were disrupting and keep her awake at night. She says she only feeds the other 10 wet food twice a day. Somehow she has spent 250. This past week on litter and food for cats, down to buying fresh chicken to cook and feed to them. Forgot about it and also had to toss $10.00 of ground beef bought and not cooked. Blessings come in unusual ways these days. Need to unplug the stove or kill the breaker.
Her finances are a mess , I just regained the bills since March, she had a moment of narcissistem , it lasted for several months, I suppose I did not present the situation well, she hallucinates that things are missing, I have found most missing items are just misplaced, not stolen.
I am stressing, she is hateful to her caregiver, takes advantage of his gererosity and vocally Acquisitive of him. She does the same to me. This is getting expensive, she does not show sound judgement but so far isn’t dangerous although she does have a pistol. Will not share location, kinda frightening.. 250. A week in cat food, my husband is beside himself, those cats must be waddling by now!!!
The most dangerous bit from your information is that she ‘will not give up the car keys’. Disable the car, she should not be driving for her own sake as well as every other person on or near the road. Getting her license cancelled is not the answer if she is not going to take any notice of the cancellation. If you think there is any chance of her using her gun, call the police.
She is living at home, with how many knows cats around. Is the place in a mess? Could you call APS, because of her living conditions? The only way to control her spending is to get a POA or Guardianship order, neither of which is quick, easy or cheap. Remember that sometimes you have to let things get worse before there is enough to intervene. Make sure that you don’t prop her up just enough to stop it getting to that point!
You have my sincere sympathy in a difficult situation, Margaret
Mom should not be driving.
Mom should not be cooking.
Mom should not be in charge of her own finances or health matters.
Is anyone POA for her?
You can report her to APS / Elder Abuse hotline. 1-866-800-1409
You can also call 211 or www.211.org.
This is a free confidential service that helps people find local resources they need. Food, health, crisis, emergency, support....
From the sounds of it she needs either 24/7 caregivers or she needs to be in a Memory Care facility where she will be safe.
In order to do that someone needs to have the legal ability to place her or make other decisions for her. This means POA (and it may be to late for that) or Guardianship. If you do not want to take that role and there are no family members then the Court will appoint a Guardian.
I do have the POA and am trying to patiently wait for her file to be large enough to allow placement in memory care. I do have a caregiver on site that , distributes medication, drives to Dr.,grocery and bank in my absence, she lives 650ish miles from me and refuses to budge.
my current delimina is the need to repeat actions, her hang up seems to be her pets. As was with the medication she originally could not remember she had taken. I suppose I am asking if there are any tricks to helping Alzheimer’s/Dementia patients with these obsessions, she takes Zoloft and that helps with compulsive actions but would increasing dosage help. It is her last pleasure to have control of, I hate to take it away as well. Advise is welcome!
The gun, hand it into the police and get a receipt for it.
Are you her POA. If so, get her to a neurologist and have him declare her incompetent to make it effective. If you need two doctors then her GP too. My Moms POA read that her PCP could sign off she was incompetent. If you have no POA you need to get guardianship. Its expensive but if you win, Medicaid allows you to use her money.