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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I wish you well on that one. Braida is right. You must think of your own health. My mom smoked for 50 yrs. Her house reeked of smoke and I'm allergic. When I would visit we would go outside to sit. I didn't visit much in the winter. Now she's living with me. I told her she could only smoke outside and after two days she quit smoking. It's been 6 mos now. But she is so ill now I honestly think she has forgotten that she smoked. Hope it works out for you.
You should tell them that in order to have your help, which you are willing to do, they must begin smoking OUTSIDE, because you are physically unable to tolerate the smoke. Then, if they agree, you can clean and air out the home as best as possible, have the carpets cleaned, etc. Some carpet cleaning and commercial cleaning companies have machines that they can put in houses to eradicate all the odors (from pets and smoking....I've done it w/ rental properties) It usually takes 3 days of running the machine when the home is very smelly. Make it clear to your parents that you respect their right to smoke, but you personally cannot help them inside their home unless they agree to cease smoking inside the home. I'm totally with you on this, because I can't tolerate a smoke-filled environment either. It will ruin your health, and then you can't help them anyway!! Best of luck.
Thanks for the suggestions. Both are wonderful people but the smoking is unbearable at times. No one wants to stay long for visits because it is such a smoke filled environment as no one else in the family smokes. My mother in law is in the hospital right now and we have had the house cleaned, walls, carpets, furniture.. and are currently requesting that father in law smoke in sunroom that can be closed off. We love them both dearly but really feel strongly about protecting ourselves and our loved ones. I know we are in for a battle and I guess I just needed someone outside the family to say it is ok to make this demand.
What has FIL's reaction been to this request? Is he cooperating? In the hospital MIL is probably on a patch and not smoking. Any chance she would continue that? But I guess even if she agreed to try it, it wouldn't last long with FIL smoking. I hope you can make an arrangement that works.
The day my father died of lung cancer, I remember leaving the hospital and waving back at a man standing in the courtyard in one of those fashionable gowns that tie in the back, hooked up to some kind of an IV on a portable stand, smoking. It is a very sad addiction.
My husband smokes (which I hate) but he always smokes outside. I remember working in the office in the '70's where the air was blue with smoke from my co-workers. My friend has a friend who is dying of MD and has smoked medicinal marijuana for years and has a little dog that always sits on his lap. Both he and the dog were recently diagnosed with emphysema, caused by the smoking. The people that lived next door to my grandparents smoked so much, and never opened a window to my knowledge. Their little dog used to lick the windows to apparently get the nicotine off. (gross) My husband's father started coughing up black stuff before he finally quit. And although my husband has a strong desire to stop, I think it's gonna take a serious health scare to push him over the edge. I pray that God will be merciful for what that scare is.
Ya, bah on the smoking. You are not wrong to tell them what you need to do in order to meet their needs.
It's 2011, anyone who does not understand the relationship of smoking to lung disease is delusional. anyone who insists on exposing others to this awful stuff is just selfish.
good luck and stick to what your lungs are telling you!
I understand how difficult this is for you to handle, but I am glad you are being firm about the situation. I have never been a smoker but grew up with it and most of my family still smokes. My mother does not smoke anymore, but the rest of the family does not understand the situation. I cannot be around them when they visit my mother because I developed asthma as an adult and currently have a small (hopefully benign) lung tumor that is being watched by my doctors. Most smokers are very defensive, but I have learned that being appreciative toward considerate smokers helps the situation. I know the habit is very difficult to break. I hope your mother-in-law will respond the same way your FIL has responded. Best wishes. Rebecca
My Dad is 85 years old and has smoked for years. All of us 5 kids are over 50 years old and our lungs just can't take it eieher especially several garnd children he's been told have asthma but he continues to be selfish and says its his home. I tell him its MY lungs and I won't come over as often and he in his sick mind wonders still why no-one visits anymore cause they don't care. He said we all grew up around it and we're just starting to complain about it now. He must have had a hearing problem in his 30;s and 40's as I remember all of us griped about the smoke all the time. Some people are just born to be selfish and ignorant (stupid). Can't fix stupid !!!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Hope it works out for you.
I'm totally with you on this, because I can't tolerate a smoke-filled environment either. It will ruin your health, and then you can't help them anyway!!
Best of luck.
The day my father died of lung cancer, I remember leaving the hospital and waving back at a man standing in the courtyard in one of those fashionable gowns that tie in the back, hooked up to some kind of an IV on a portable stand, smoking. It is a very sad addiction.
Good luck.
Ya, bah on the smoking. You are not wrong to tell them what you need to do in order to meet their needs.
It's 2011, anyone who does not understand the relationship of smoking to lung disease is delusional. anyone who insists on exposing others to this awful stuff is just selfish.
good luck and stick to what your lungs are telling you!
lovbob