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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Any help or suggestions are just ignored or she gets mad. how do I help my mom? Our father passed 3 years ago and she has been in a downward spiral ever since. I don't live near her so its hard to see everyday life but I hear it in her voice.
I'm asking for two reasons. One: I can't remember exactly how long it was before I stopped being really sad and shaken about my father's death, but I know it was several years; how are you handling your own loss? Two: do you think, I wonder, would your mother respond better if you talked to her about how you are? I have this pet theory (I haven't tried it out or asked the experts, mind) that mothers tend to care much better about their children than they do about themselves. Maybe it could lead to something?
We can't help someone who doesn't want help. We can try to trick them into it, we can beg and plead, we can demonstrate to them how wonderful things will be if they just accept help, we can tattle on them, bully them, emotionally blackmail them, we can try to wait it out, we can do everything that is within our humanly power and if that person doesn't want help there is nothing you can do about it. Plus, you'll make yourself crazy and stressed out trying.
Get the book ELDER RAGE byJacqueline Marcell you will think it was written for you. Whenever I am challenged with trying to get my 90 year old mom to consider something i always present it as an adventure and of course it was her idea.
You will find many threads on this site from people who haved Loved Ones who wouldn't accept help. It really seems as though you have to wait for something really disastrous to happen (a fall, a stroke, etc) that ends them up in the hospital and/or rehab; then it falls to the discharge staff to tell them that they are no longer able to live alone. Has you mom always been like this? I see a huge difference between my deceased MIL (she would get angry, threaten, if anyone told her she needed help) and my mom, who would simply say, no, no and looked worried. With my mom, a much less combative person by nature, it was matter to telling her that her living alone and having near daily "crises" and panicky phone calls wasn't working out for US. She got that and acceded to going to an IL facility where she got a much healthier diet, was less socially isolated and was able to manage her own medical appointments because there was a doctor for the AL right across the street.
I had a LO who didn't want help. She refused meds and other things for years. What you might do is have someone near her insists that she see a medical doctor for an exam. You can insists for a number of reasons. Does she have dementia or just depression? Sometimes they come together. I told my LO that her disability insurance required that she see a doctor for an update and she had to go.. She went and the doctor then did the evaluation and found her to be in dire need of help on many levels. With the doctor's support, I was then able to get things going, including her meds.
Is there anyone near her that can do that for you? I wish you the best. It's a very difficult struggle.
Have you had all of your family/her friends to have a "meeting" with her? What about when she goes to the Dr, they can see how she is and then get her further help? Someone who doesn't want help because they are extremely independent or have depression like your mom its hard to convince or force them to get help. Is there any home health care for her? Any other health concerns?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'm asking for two reasons. One: I can't remember exactly how long it was before I stopped being really sad and shaken about my father's death, but I know it was several years; how are you handling your own loss? Two: do you think, I wonder, would your mother respond better if you talked to her about how you are? I have this pet theory (I haven't tried it out or asked the experts, mind) that mothers tend to care much better about their children than they do about themselves. Maybe it could lead to something?
Is there anyone near her that can do that for you? I wish you the best. It's a very difficult struggle.
You and your mom are in my thoughts..hugs