I just started reading the posts on this site and it is/and the people here are amazing. I'm 50 years old, married, taking care of my mom who lives with me and who is in the end stages of COPD. I realize now that the resentment, and the guilt that I was feeling resentful, is shared by others. I want to take care of my mom but also realize how important it is to take care of myself. Can you tell me what positive strategies worked for you?
Runner-up: respite care at an excellent facility for a week at a time. The idea was to do this every three months - it didn't quite happen like that, but the two occasions when it did work at least allowed me to get some sleep. I'd recommend getting a schedule of respite breaks sorted out as early on as you can.
Make sure you get protein and veggies in your diet before stress eating. And give yourself a big hug. You are a wonderful person.
I have also kept a journal and writing down my feelings in it has helped I think and the wonderful caregivers here on AgingCare have been so supportive too through it all.This is what has helped me and still helps me now that Mother is gone.
Take care,Lu
If I get nothing else done...I research aspects of my future plan. I read about it, I plan, I do.
Everyday. It keeps me sane and grounded.
While my mother and dad did not live with us, I was still deeply involved in their care. They were in a senior "independent" living with assistance, and they needed a lot of assistance. Ultimately they both needed to be under hospice care, not because they were expected to die within six months (although that requirement might vary by state apparently), they needed more and more assistance. It does not cost anything to have a hospice evaluation done. What they can do is give you more opportunities to care for yourself as they do some of the tasks (bathing, OT, PT) with their patients. And I also did some light-hearted things, like putting cheery postage stamps on any letters and bills I paid for them. The last page of stamps I got was of ice cream desserts. They made me smile.
And come back to agingcare.com regularly. It has been a wonderful source of encouragement and information.
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