My older cousin lives in CA with his partner who's health is declining. My cousin had a stroke 15 years ago. He is unable to live on his own, and they are starting to plan ahead for the future if anything happens to his partner first. We have a very small family. He only had one brother, and they are estranged. He just called me and asked if I would be willing to be listed as POA should anything happen. I just finished settling my mom's estate after caring for her for 6 years (lewy body dementia).
Of course I have no problem helping out, is just the logistics, I live in PA.
I would not have him live with me, they already said I'd help him to find assisted living arrangements in my area. Help him move here and set up his new place. He has money and a trust to pay for care, I'd just help him pay his bills etc.
I guess I just need to know what all that would entail. I assume he is already on disability in CA, would that automatically transfer to PA?
What all do I need to think of. I'm honored that they asked, just a little overwhelmed. Has anyone else gone through anything like this long distance.
A POA takes effect when the person can no longer make decisions, medical or financial, for themselves. That’s it. I think what your cousin’s family are asking of you involves far more than that. Tread carefully before you become committed.
My thinking is this...This is a cousin, not parents. Do not move him near you. You could accept POA and handle his needs from afar but it would take some doing.
My dad is in memory care now, I deal with his finances, bills, meds, staff and have a sitter with him two days a week. I make a few trips a year for visits but he would be cared for well whether I visited or not.
POA does not necessarily bind you to a long list of responsibilities. You can resign at anytime. Your biggest challenge would be getting access to his finances.
And what about the partner? Who’s taking care of his/her affairs? I wouldn’t get sucked into that if I were you.
Lots to consider here. Think it through very carefully.