She is in relative good mental & physical health, but her home was no longer livable, a family member & friends have rallied to help her get rid of all the trash, etc. The concern is that she will need some counseling to adjust to the new cleaned up condition of her home! She is currently in Respite Care, but that is a temporary, she will need to return home soon! Help !
Both of my children were asthmatic. Every week I washed everything, all bedding including blankets, spreads and curtains. I pulled all furniture out and ran over the backs with a damp cloth. I dusted the top of door frames. All closets were vacuumed or mopped every week. I had an electrostatic air filter and all windows were shut all the time.
One day, I had just finished deep cleaning my house, curtains and windows washed, all furniture dusted (remember the pulling away from wall), etc. Our dog came in the house from the yard, laid down on the floor and left a ring of dirt left over from digging in the flower bed. My sister-in-law came in, looked at that and said, "How can you live in that filth". I wanted to cry.
So, I guess my thoughts are, is this house a fire hazard or just not clean enough for you? Why do you care anyway? Do you want someone doing this to you?
I think the tv hoarding programs have exploited hoarding and made a mockery of people who truly suffer. After watching parts of a few, I refuse to watch any of them again.
When I went into the hospital to deliver our son, his parents and younger sister descended on the house to clean what they perceived as a hopeless trashpit which was my house. When I got back home, with a colicky baby, another child and no help from hubby, (childcare wasn’t his “thing”, apparently like cleaning was), my house looked like a research lab. Counters were empty. Things were rearranged. And I was missing a beautiful necklace that I am convinced my SIL stole. My husband did this again just before my daughter got married. I was to do the flower arrangements for her wedding and reception. I had purchased all the silk flowers and put them in the closet. My daughter and I went for a getaway weekend and when I returned, the closet was empty. Everything had been thrown away. Those flowers had cost over $400. We had to scramble to find a florist and spend $700 more to order flowers.
I was only in my 30’s when this happened, not a Senior Citizens. I felt violated and demeaned. My husband was not in the least apologetic. He was proud of what he had done. The money he had wasted meant nothing to him in the triumph of throwing out my things and he wouldn’t even hear of my suspicions about my necklace.
Please do t do this to her. Hire a professional, cleaner and a therapist who can help you handle this. It’s been 30 years for me and it still hurts and angers me.
Usually what creates a hoarding situation stems from something in the past, like divorce that they didn't want..... or a parent, sibling, spouse or child had passed..... or at one time they themselves were physically or mentally harmed.
Even if the County/City/ Village comes in to say the house needs to be cleaned out, the owner can't understand why because the house looks good to them. Thus any legal notices are overlooked.
Have the family bring in a professional to talk with the woman, to get to the root of the problem. Then when the time is ready, help with the clean up.
And that's important as you progress; make notes of the things she has closest to her, and inventory them as well, including location. Not being able to find necessary frequently used items is one of the hazards of others being involved in cleaning w/o the owner present.
Separate the "definitely save" from the "maybe save" and from the "discard" items. That way some progress is made, some things are stored and inventoried for later consideration, and some are saved. And she's kept in the loop throughout the whole process, and can also savor the sense of progress.
You might find that eventually she'll agree that the "might save" items can be discarded.
But whole house cleaning is just too much for someone with a lot of stuff. It's just too traumatic.
I tried and tried to work with my mother to de-junk her place. It just caused a huge rift between us that is still kind of festering--2+ year ago. EVERYTHING to her has huge sentimental meaning, and she NEEDS to be crowded into her apt by her junk. I don't understand the hoarder mentality, not at all, and I was trying to be as kind as humanly possible, but she wouldn't part with anything. In the end, I think I got one or two bins of old PCH envelopes stored (she wouldn't throw them away) and one small sack of garbage. About 10 small items went to Goodwill. She was so upset and so unhappy after we did this---she tells everyone not to let me in their house..I'll throw all their stuff away.
Funny thing, she wants more space, more closets, but the place is totally packed. I make sure she has safe passage and sometimes I will move something and tell her it's a tripping hazard, but that's it. It's impossible to clean or organize as there is only room for one person in any given room.
Now she no longer trusts me to come weekly and just dust and water plants and try to keep ahead of the mess. The trust is GONE.
If you want to help your neighbor, do get a professional organizer to help. Then she can be mad at somebody who isn't you. Hoarders are really, really hard to help and the "cure rate"? Practically zero.
I will say she enjoyed her home with less in it. She became quite the fanatic about everything being in its place as time went on. Easier to keep up with that way I suspect.
Good luck. I know it can be overwhelming to have to care for someone in a hoarded home. You did say "help her" so maybe she knows that you are making changes. Good job on looking for a counselor. Who is going to volunteer to see that she goes for the counseling? It's mostly about control I think and we have little of that as we age.
Sort. Tidy. Clean as best you can. Upgrade anything that is truly a health concern like a non functioning kitchen or bathroom. But as Freqflyer has said, tread lightly and think twice before you hire a dumpster.
To help manage a clean-up, the owner needs to be there along with a therapist or a psychologist who specializes in hoarding. This is not a DIY project !!
Only the owner can agree what she wishes to keep, donate or toss. You and others cannot make that decision for her. It would be like someone coming into our clean homes and taking away items. We wouldn't be happy campers.
I admire that you and her family/friends want to help, and I can't blame you. One must tread lightly in this type of situation.