These include memory loss and Alzheimer's, stage 1. I am the complete package, including outside and inside home management.
She can still do toilet duties and dress herself... that's pretty much it, and I am fine with it. My responsibility, and I can handle it. My problem is, indoor temperature setting, She insists on minimum 80 degrees and she is happier with 82 or 83! In winter it is bearable, but in 90 degree and up days in summer, it gets so oppressive I can hardly bear it. I go to the basement or next door to neighbors when it is unbearable and at night I can hardly sleep. I know others have this problem and wonder how they handle it respectfully...
Buy her warmer clothes, help her to layer when she is getting dressed. So she feels comfortable as well.
I worked in an office with penguins, 63° year round, and I married a lizard, 80° works, I would much rather try to get warm than be over heated. I finally converted my husband to a penguin and we installed mini-split units in our home. Now every room can be kept at the desired temperature. You could check out installing one in a room just for you. I highly recommend them and truly wonder why they aren't used more in the USA. They are highly energy efficient and if you clean the filter regularly, no maintenance necessary.
My heart goes out to you. I am not able to deal with stifling heat and I would collapse in 80° interior temps.
Like I always told him(as he was cold natured for years before he was bedridden)you can always put more stuff on to keep warm, but I can only take off but so much to keep cool. So bundle your dear wife up in some warm winter clothing, and turn that thermostat down, so you can enjoy being in your own home, without sweating to death.
But if she says she feels cold, then she is cold. What about cosier clothes? - fleecy pyjamas, a warm cardigan, a shawl or soft blanket?
The thermostat wars, by the way, are a classic Mars vs. Venus battleground. You certainly aren't alone!
Would your wife benefit from fleece jumpsuit onesies, or similar, that would keep her much warmer? Maybe try buying 1-2 and see if it helps. Will she listen to respected friends, family, and others if they tell her that the thermostat settings are extreme? And there is an option of putting in a remote controlled thermostat, too. Do you think that could help if you could change the settings without her noticing, especially at night?
Body temperature regulation, either too hot or too cold, is a primary symptom of thyroid problems.
If Identified, treatment can be undertaken to help.
I arrived at my mother's condo once, in summer and the place was like a sauna! She had moved the switch from cool to heat. The heat wasn't running, but neither was the AC! I was sweating bullets in no time! My brother ended up putting in a Nest thermostat. She couldn't figure it out. He set it for various times, but could also check it remotely, via the WiFi.
Certainly it could be thyroid, but more likely it's the dementia.
An electric blanket for where she sits and sleeps, too - as others have suggested - might let you move the thermostat down a bit.
I have to be in a COLD room to sleep well, that's always been the case. So I moved out of our bedroom 10 years ago and we'll never share a bed b/c even in the hottest summer months, he has 2 down comforters on the bed and often sleeps with a hot water bottle. He's 69, hardly old...but is always freezing. It hit 100 here yesterday, I hid out in my basement craft room and sewed all day--he was upstairs watching TV all day and his room was probably 90 degrees. I told him he should go live with his mother during the summer as she keeps her house super warm. Indoor temps over 75 make me actually sick.
DH has had complete physicals, he is on thyroid medication, but I don't think it helps at all. I'm sure he's chronically dehydrated which is a problem too, but I just can't force him to take care of himself. I just pile the blankets on him and walk out the door.
My thyroid numbers are monitored by a specialist. They are as low as they can go.
I CONSTANTLY freeze.
I live in Florida.
It is June, as I write this.
I am 57 years old.
I keep two blankets and a down comforter on my side of the bed.
I am not “stubborn”.
It is just how my body works.
I agree with layering your beloved, and dressing for the tropics for you.
Best wishes to you!
A separate room that you can keep at the temp you like would be better than running outside or to a neighbor's house. If you have baseboard hot water heat, close the covers - it will still get heat, but less. Put in a small window AC unit for summer.
If she wears more layers/warmer clothes, perhaps try turning the temp down, one degree at a time, and see how she adjusts. Trying to turn it down 10 degrees at a whack will be noticeable. A little bit over time might allow adjustment.
You need to get that temp down. Try 75 and get her dressing in layers so that she can keep herself warm enough. She can wear a hat to help keep her heat in! And fingerless gloves. And heavy socks. Long johns.
At night, the temp should/could come down even more.
See All Answers