I have my mother's POA and act as the 24/7 caregiver. I have two siblings who both work jobs and do not help with care except periodically for a few hours on a weekend here or there. I have a 21 year old daughter who is in school and unemployed and who lives in the same house. Can I hire her to watch Mom while I leave the house for a while?
I read another post where a person was told by Social Services that they could not leave their mother with dementia alone or it would be considered "Elder Neglect" and they could go to prison for 7 years! I do NOT want to be prosecuted or spend 7 years in prison, because I had to run to the store or my doctor.
My mother would not do well with an outside person coming into the house and would fight it with all her might, therefore if I could arrange my appointments around my daughter's schedule, then perhaps she could watch Mom and be paid for her time. I just don't know if there are any legalities to me hiring my daughter and I am afraid that one of my sisters will start asking for money to watch Mom on those infrequent weekends I get a few hours to myself. I do not receive ANY money as her caretaker, but I do not feel it is fair to my daughter to require her to give up her life and time without pay.
I need input on this subject, please!
I would love to take a class, even a cooking class, just anything to get out of the house for a while during the week. The only time I leave the house now are for doctor appointments, which are rare. I ask her to go buy groceries, pick up Mom's RX's, just anything that I cannot get out of the house to do and she does it without complaining and she uses her gas and car. She has not been able to find a job and honestly at times I am glad because I need the help, but I know it is only a matter of time and she will be working.
If I want to get out of the house and do not have the option of my daughter then I would have to pay someone to stay with her, this is why I asked the question...If I have to pay a stranger, then why am I not paying her and giving her a little spending money? I did not have a good reason not to.
My Mom has her moments of being verbal and angry. The other grandchildren will not even come to the house any longer as they do not want to be around it. My daughter however, has no such escape. I have not even mentioned this to her and she may not want to have anything to do with it when I do, I just needed someone to bounce this thought off of. I think my Mom would do much better if the person staying with her was someone she knows as her memory only lasts about 15 minutes.
I decided to take on the care of my mother because she cared for me when I was ill. I have also care for her sister, my father and brother in law and now Mom and I did it out of love, but it has turned into obligation that has gone on for over 10 years and I am worn out. Something has got to change, I am mentally and emotionally depleted.
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