This is my first post. I found the site by accident and it has really enlightened me reading so many posts and knowing I am not alone. My grandfather is 94 years old, and lives with myself, my husband and my two teenage sons. Five years ago, he moved in with us when my grandmother passed away. The first four years were great he was almost self-sufficient. Six months ago, he began rapidly becoming confused. He drove off in his car and was lost for a day, he walked out the back door of our house fell and hit his head on the brick wall and began to become extremely confused. He was hospitalized and we found out he has Alzheimer’s and dementia. We have gone thru in patient rehab; home therapy and hospital stays since then. We have hired a full-time care taker for days 9-5 while we are at work and school. This helps a lot but he has rapidly declined in health and now cannot even stand up without assistance. Allot of times it is dead weight. Nights have become the worst now. Every 1/2 hour he is calling for someone to help him up. He cannot sleep, his neck hurts or he must go to the bathroom. Myself and my family are burnt out completely. No one is sleeping and this is only been a month of this happening. We are already spending 3400 month for daytime help and I don’t think we can afford to pay that for nights also. Has anyone had to deal with a loved one not sleeping and constant movement at night? How did you solve the problem? I don’t have an extra bedroom for a live-in care taker. So, I am lost at what to do. Not to mention we are all burnt out. It is even harder because the next day he does not remember what happened overnight. His short-term memory is shot. I am 49 years old and I can no longer get him up alone, I must wake up someone to help me. He is like dead weight at night. I don’t want to put him in a nursing home I feel like he does not have much longer to live based on the rapid progression of his health. But at the same time, we have no life anymore. After work is all dedicated to his care now and bedtime has become crazy. Just looking for some insight to how other people have handled this type of problem -- Alzheimer’s -- Dementia -- No mobility –
When my grandmother passed away she asked me to care for him, I now know she knew he had Alzheimer’s and never told us. His doctor told me six months ago, that he was diagnosed ten years ago, with early onset of the disease. Now I feel responsible to care for him and I want to make sure he is cared for but I need a life also. What is the best way to handle this? What is it like to have a live-in care taker? Do I divide the day to more shifts? Is there anywhere to get help financially to pay for services?
I am sorry for all the questions but as I said in the beginning this is my first time reaching out to others for guidance or help. Thanks, in advance for reading or replying. Hope you all have a wonderful day!
Mirtazapine (remeron), is not a sleep aid at all, it is an anti depressant that has bonus side effects. For my mom it helped her anxiety and seemed to help her feel more her old self during the day and also helped her to sleep through the night. It also is said to increase appetite, which is a bonus side effect for us.
If my mother (96) with early dementia gets into her worry mode she walks the hall and creeps around all night. I have a motion sensor installed and last night she walked up and down the hall 15 times based on the recording of motion. My sister suggested sleeping meds but I am concerned about fall risk. Also she navigates the stairs OK alone but as she sleeps upstairs, concerned re: falling.
Then my Dad decided he wanted to sell his house and move to senior living. He was there almost a year, mostly in Independent Living but once his dementia started to show more and he was falling more, he was moved to Assisted Living/Memory Care. The cost was much less than having around the clock caregivers. Memory Care was around $6k-7k per month.
At Memory Care, an Aide could get Dad up in the morning, shower, dressed, and point him to the direction of the dining room. The Aide would check on Dad around once an hour, and help him with bathroom issues. He really felt so safe there, plus being around other fellows of his generation.
As for finance help, none unless your Grandfather can apply and be accepted by Medicaid. Medicaid would pay for continuing care at a facility. Medicaid would use Grandfather's social security and any pension he might have. If Grandfather is a Veteran, check on benefits.