My mom passed away on January 11. I received her death certificate saying she died at midnight. I received the call 0024 that she was passing. One of my mom's last wishes was that she did not pass with strangers. When I question the time difference I received a letter. It stated it was their policy to notify after the death since It was too tramatic for family members to be there. Excuse me where is my rights? My mom last wishes? They were so worried about trauma lol when the furenal home came to pick up the body I was ask to step out of the room. No one was there I waited in the hallway and what seem hours I walked back into the room only to see them zip the body bag over her face. That was my last memory of her as I left the hospital. They have the nerve to tell me they care. Everyone please make sure the hospital does not have such stupid policy in place.
Find grief support for yourself.
It is just my opinion, but I think that before most people die, they lapse into a sleep, or maybe even a coma, and really are not aware of who is there. I think that your mother went to sleep, not knowing that the end was near. You suffered because you weren't there, but - just my opinion - I don't think it made any difference to her. I hope that idea will comfort you, to think that she wasn't afraid at all.
I am so sorry that you lost your mother. I hope you can focus more on how you loved her, and how lucky you were to have her for a mother. Maybe writing a biography of her life would bring you comfort.
Yes, we should all check with our loved one's hospital's policy on this. Thank you for telling your mom's story. I'm sure it will help others.