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After a very stressful situation during my Moms last year of life and my sisters alienating me from her in the last 9 months, she died with my sister having the checkbook, monies after her death. I was local as Mom and I moved to FL together over 30 years ago. My sister had Mom name her son as beneficiary which I was alright with. Within 10 days of Moms death my sister came from MD via train (she can't fly due to size, disability in an electric chair and need for their specialized van while here). Her son came a few days ahead to hire the attorney they selected without conferring with me (mind you I was a 50/50 beneficiary of the estate with her). Also, her daughter coordinated a "memorial dinner" actually all the family left got together, drank and not a word was spoken about Mom. Her 2 children then began taking all her clothes, purses shoes to wherever my sister directed and as they had to leave by Monday basically threw much into the trash or hauled it away. The pieces left to specific people were given out some of the costs discussed somewhat (my sister wanted her train trip reimbursed and her sons travel by the estate).


The probate process went quickly as my sister wanted the money from the sale of the home ASAP. Once we received word that probate was complete my sister began telling me (through her son as she won't speak to me directly) who to show the house to which I did. We found a realtor I liked and I guess she liked. The amount the realtor suggested we list it for was eventually upped by my sister (she wants as much money as she can get) so we only had one looker. When the realtor dropped the price within a week the house sold. The price it sold for was more that I though we'd get for it so I was pleased. Then my sister makes the real estate agent who shares her % with another drop her % from 3% to 2% or she wouldn't sell. The real estate agent agreed and the house is sold with a closing date. The day after the sale I get a list from my nephew my sisters son for personal charges they want from the sale of what they are still calling the "estate". Had they read the papers I sent them they would have seen the probate finalized the distribution of the estate and also discharged my nephew as the executor. I called the probate attorney just to see if my assumption was correct that the time to ask for monies from the estate had long passed.


Their office personel said to ignore them but I'm afraid they will disrupt the closing proceedings as they (my sister and nephew) have already opened another account for the 3rd check to go for their personal expenses from the 50/50 sale. I cannot believe the greed and on top of that they are looking for money from my 50% to cover the cost to moved their furniture still in the home up North. Would I be better of just hiring a real estate attorney or should I just wait until close to closing (2 weeks or less) to inform the company of a request by them I have no intention of paying? BTW, the amount is around $1, 700. The cost to reimburse the realtor her 1% my sister cheater her pout of and the $700 for a "spray" done to the house they paid by my Moms checking account before we started the probate and the only person who benefited from the spray was my sister. I checked with a MD who said there was no risk of bacteria present as Mom hadn't been in the home for many weeks before she died and my sister arrived. So, I feel the money they want and the money I am paying out cancels the request they are making entirely to late and relate to mostly personal expenses.

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Be sure you have an attorney for the real estate closing. No other way.
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Ugh, family disputes after a death.....yes, get an attorney to go with you. Let him/her have ALL information and let them be your mouthpiece. I doubt that once the probate is complete that they can really get any more money.

AS EXECUTOR, a person is allowed a certain amount per hour, to be dealing with all the stuff that goes along with selling a home and cleaning out a person's effects. My hubby was his father's and I did well over 200 hours of work on both dad's properties. Neither of us chose to take the $22 per hour for our work, deciding that family relationships were more important to us than any more money. My son, (who is an attorney) hit the wall & said we were more than entitled to the money. We still declined, he called us idiots and that was that. IF the son involved was the executor and did work on behalf of the estate, he is entitled to some payment, but that should have come before the completion of the probate. Do talk to a lawyer--one that specializes in the disbursement of wills and trusts. Good luck!
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Right. A real estate attorney will cost you $700 to $1000. They have seen it all. Their price is all inclusive and you can ask them all your questions. Well worth it.

It sounds like your relationship with your sister is unsalvageable and after this is over, you will have no further contact. I would simply let all communications about money go through your attorney. I'm so sorry. Your sister sounds exactly like my sister, who refuses to speak to me, even though I have done ALL the caregiving.
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If everything's been done legally and it's all settled, just don't worry about shelling out anything, just don't give anyone anything. Take care of your own needs, the needs of others right now is their responsibility. Think of your own mortality and maybe put some of that money toward your final expenses and make your own preneed through your local funeral home. Pay off some past bills (if any). If you need a new car, take care of that. If you need home repairs, take care of that. Take care of your self and the needs of your household. Put the rest of the money into an irrevocable trust so no one can come after it. Keep some money for yourself and make sure to hide as much as you can out of what's left to protect it. Take careful steps to make sure no one gets any of it, just don't give them a dime
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Turns out I am in a similar stituatin. Our sister had not seen our mother in 11 years, seldom called her, wrote a couple of times a year at most. I paid to fly her back east in March when mom died. She spent maybe 6 hours over at mom's house looking for things she wanted, the house was stuffed with stuff! After the funeral she flew home. Now 3 months later when we tell her that because the house is in need of so many major repairs we have been advised by 2 different real estate agents that the house it is worth only about 1/3 of what it would sell for if it were in good condition. I am the only one of us out of the 3 of us who even has the money to pay for repairs but it is simply not worth it to me to do it. By the time I get paid back after the sale the net proceeds split 3 ways would still be the same for us, it doesn't make sense. Easy for her to complain from afar about what we, my sister here and I (both named trustees, not her) decide when it us not her who has been working to empty the house. Neither of us are getting a large inheritance from the sale of the house but I am ok with that. I am glad that mom chosed to travel with her savings and not keep up with fixing her house, she saw the world! Oh well.....I will be glad when the estate is all settled.
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Don't u love it when they come out of the woodwork. This is why the child that is more likely to take care of a parent should have the POAs and excutorship of a will. There is no reason a person should die without a will. Especially if there are children. The executor sees that the will is carried out. Family members need to realize that all debts have to be satisfied before estate can be divided up. Even ifa house has been left to the children,if the debts out there then the house has to be sold to pay debtors.
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When a house goes as is thats it. The buyers had a chance to call in an inspector to tell them what may be wrong with the house that the seller may not know. You have agreed on a price, thats it. I'm going thru this now. My realtor is upfront with what we know.
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In nj the executor is allowed to take 6% of the final total of the estate. If one of the people inheriting they then are entitled to an even split. Once probate is done and everything is split that is it. The expence of taking furniture back is up to the people taking it. The estate isn't. Should not come out of your portion.
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Thank goodness my parents awarded me the DPOA and I'm the recipient of their personal possessions - my younger sister, myself and our parents are on the deed of the property and it is a survivorship deed. My lawyer has assured me that my sister cannot force a sale on the death of our last parent. Whomever lives the longest ends up with the real property. My sister lives 2 day drive away and has refused to help with any maintenance costs of the property, out buildings or the home. She creates all kinds of havoc when she does visit and we just want to have her go away. I moved in with my parents in 2013 to be their 24/7 caregiver and she has no clue what is involved and is attacking me at every turn and pot stirring at every opportunity. My lawyer told me to not engage her in any kind of conversation at all and that all I have to do is nothing unless she tries to file a suit. When our mother passes I'll be waiting for the other shoe to drop - my folks did ask her to sign off of the property because they wanted to give it to me in exchange for their care. My sister has refused to sign off so we shall see how this all works out in the long run. Not sure how long our Mom has - could be 5 or more years and then again it could be much sooner.
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I am thankful for all of the responses I received. I have spoken to a real estate attorney (free consult) who said the situation could result in having the proceeds from the sale be held in escrow until the "family squabble" is done. I do also have an appointment with my family attorneys referred real estate attorney in July. After the real estate broker told all the house was sold, now the buyer wants thousands of dollars of "issues" she found or rather were found during the inspection fixed. The house was sold as "AS IS" but the buyer is now "nit picking" and is demanding $2,000 worth of repairs and a drop of $5,000 off of the price. Actually, I told the real estate broker even that the price is even more than I thought we'd get so go ahead. My sister on the other hand, most of you can probably guess, is taking issue. BTW, I checked with the attorney "they" hired and was informed I was correct in that the time for collection of any monies against the estate had come and gone (needed to be included in the probate documents and settled before probate was complete). Probably why my sister is even more upset about the drop in the amount we are receiving for the sale. Actually, I was just getting used to "getting my own life back" after having been my Mom's only caretaker before all this mess started. I will never get back the 15 years I spent in hospitals, rehabs, doctors offices, dressing changes and the rest so I'd be happy just going back to some semblance of order. To top it off one of our Dachshunds developed IVDD (one of my previous Doxies had this) and according to the University Vet ER clinic she was not a good candidate for surgery and her IVDD was so painful and with such a poor prognosis we had to have her sent on to the "Rainbow Bridge" with her sisters and brothers. All of us could barely stand to look at each other lest we'd start crying up until the past day. So, at this point I told the realtor let me know who decides what and then send the papers on for my signature. This "gift" has turned out to be more of a curse and headache than I ever thought it would be. Why after having lived under my sisters thumb all my life did I ever expect this to go without a hitch? Anyway, in time someone will make the decision in regards to the sale, I hope, that makes sense. I sent an e-mail to my sister informing her that if she really wants it put back on the market we will still have to "fix" the problems found in the inspection and putting the property back on the market (that's what she initially wanted to do) will only result in a lower sale price, having to continue with the vacant home insurance out of pocket as well as other costs from an empty home not being maintained. My husband called her and she is agreeing with some of the work/repairs to be done but not all. I sure hope this can all be worked out.
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