My Mom just went to a really dark place. Vascular dementia, heart disease, pulmonary hypertension, afib, riddled with osteoarthritis. She doesn't want someone here all the time because she doesn't know why she needs someone here all the time. She doesn't like us coming and King. She wishes it was like when she was home. I told her everyone is grown and on there own, and we're working together to do our best to help her, and she said I don't know about that. She says she wishes she was dead. She misses her family so much. Her Mom, her sisters and even her goofy brothers. She misses her friend Mickey most os all. She misses Gert and Alice , she misses Rosalie. She has no be and no one wants her. I don't know what to do for her. I'm so sad for her. I feel so lost.
Dementia comes in many forms. All of them mean that various structures in the brain are damaged or atrophied. Damage in the brain often wreaks havoc with the mind, and an insightful psychiatrist or neurologist can often find the right combination of meds to supply an alternate source of chemicals that are no longer being produced in sufficient quantity.
I have no doubt that there are elders who are being overmedicated. That fact should not keep you from having your mom evaluated for depression and treated for it if treatment is recommended. It might give her a better quality of life.
More and more studies are being done and they have found that elderly people are being overprescribed antidepressants and sedatives. Their body can not metabolize them like a younger person can and they contribute to brain fogginess and falls. A person who already has dementia does not need anymore brain fogginess.
I would listen to what Eyerishlass said and try to just love, listen and give comfort. Prayers don't hurt too.
Just be her daughter. Love her. Listen to her. She doesn't need pep talks and admonishments about wanting to die. Respect her feelings. Be positive when you're around her. Let her know you love her. Hold her hand. There's nothing there that you can fix. You can't change her circumstances. Just be there with her. Give comfort.
My mom lives in independent living, but stays in her room 99% of the time. But she's not really depressed.
I think we do what we can do. I tell my mom we don't control when it's our time, and we just have to do our best to keep her in as good a shape as we can, so she can stay as independent as she can. So I'd try to keep your mom as involved in life as you can.