I'm looking for advice. We don't have money, we don't have space to bring our family member to California at this time (we are working on it!) but want to make sure our mother is being taken care of. Is a there an advocacy or service that will go check up on her daily and make sure she is taking her medication and eating and being cared for? It's hard to believe the nurses when the tone and sound of our mother is fearful and scared. She truly believes they are trying to kill her and we are fearful she is not taking the medication she needs to be balanced and calm.
If she is not taking her medication the facility SHOULD report that to you, there should be a care plan meeting I would think at least 1 time a month. (I might be wrong they may be less often)
You could hire a Geriatric Care Manager that would normally coordinate appointments and go with her to various appointments. Since this does not seem to be an issue the Care Manager could check in on her once a week and report to you.
You could also ask about hiring a "caregiver" that would come in once a week to check on her, see that she is doing well and the caregiver could spend a little time with her.
If mom qualifies for Hospice there would be a Nurse that would come in once a week, a CNA that would come in a few times a week, generally 2 times. they would give mom a bath, check supplies and you would be able to see the notes from the nurse and CNA. Some Hospice are using a program called Tapcloud and you can see easily on your phone how things are going and if you have any concerns you can address them right away. And with Hospice you could request a Volunteer to come in 1 time a week to check on mom in addition to the visits she gets from the Nurse, CNA, Social Worker, Chaplain.
Like said someone suffering from a Dementia is in their own little world. She could have been given her meds and forgotten. Food and drink the same thing. If Mom is on Medicaid or may need it in the near future, be aware that Medicaid does not go over state lines.