My mom lives with us in the state of Washington. We have taken care of her financially for the last 10-18 years in some way. When she moved in with us 5 years ago, we agreed she would be active and contribute around the house with chores. She retired early at 62 with no retirement plan, is now 79 and has little to no social security. Has back issues, so she says she cannot work. Has stopped helping around the house in the last 2 years and rarely leaves her room. My husband and I work 2 jobs and make good money, but we feel resentful that she doesn’t help in any way around the house and feels somewhat entitled to the help she gets. We want her out of our house so we can have our own space. Not sure what to do with her situation.
1.Ambulating or functional mobility: To move about freely and safely.
2. Feeding: To feed oneself.
3. Dressing: To assemble an outfit and put clothes on properly.
4. Personal hygiene: To manage aspects of personal hygiene, such as bathing, grooming, and brushing teeth.
5. Continence: To control both bladder and bowel movements.
6. Toileting: To get to and from the restroom, use the restroom properly, and clean the self properly.
This is the trouble with moving a parent into our home; it often takes a miracle to get them out, and we're stuck caring for them in OUR senior years!!
I'd read her the riot act immediately and let her know you expect her to pull her weight around the house starting today. Look into finding her a room in a house that she can pay rent towards and be someone else's roommate. You may have to finance that, too, since her SS check is so small which is not ideal, but at least you'd get her out of your house and living independently once again. This is providing she doesn't have enough health issues to qualify for Skilled Nursing.
Medicaid does not normally pay for Assisted Living. You can ask an Elder Care attorney for advice, perhaps they can guide you about Medicaid facilities that would pay for long term care for an elder w/o significant health issues, I don't know.
Wishing you the best of luck finding a solution to this long term problem you've been facing.
Assisted Living is not going to be funded in any way.
If she is a Veteran there may be help through the VA.
STOP helping her in any way.
She can buy her own food. She can fix her own meals, she can clean her own room, bathroom. And she can wash her own clothes when it is convenient for you or she can go to a laundromat.
If she has a TV in her room disconnect cable. If she uses computer or your WIFI change password and do not tell her what it is.
Make life a little more difficult for her and a lot fewer "perks". If she wants her benefits back she can pay for them.
You can help her find low cost housing, but Assisted Living is Private Pay. If she does not have the resourcrs to afford AL, you may have to decide if you and your husband want her out of your house badly enough to pay for her Assisted Living yourselves.