My uncle's room is a hoarding nightmare. Old rotting food, newspapers, magazines, soda cans and tons of garbage he takes from the kitchen rubbish bins. He is impossible to talk to and always plays the "victim". His excuse is he doesn't have the energy to clean. But he sure has enough energy to go to the supermarket and buy junk food. He is diabetic and two weeks after I had to call 911 2 nights in a row for them to pick him up off of his filthy room floor, he sat down and ate 29 cookies in one sitting.
I am at the end of my rope and this situation is having several adverse effects on my physical and emotional health. Please advise me on what to do.
You have to care for YOURSELF here, and since his actions are taking such a big toll on your physical and emotional health, I don't think you have much choice but to send him packing.
Good luck!
Please understand that hoarding is a mental illness, so trying to reason with him on any level will be unproductive and a waste of energy. I would talk to the landlord and try to separate yourself from him so that at least you don't have to get punished as well, unless you are counting on Uncle to pay part of the rent.
You have 2 options: be preemptive and just move and leave him to experience the consequences of his choices and never move in with him anywhere again. Or, see if your lease allows you to separate yourself from him and try to get to stay where you are. You can make 1 final attempt to explain to your uncle that he WILL get an eviction notice and after it is posted for 30 days they can forcibly remove him and he better have a back-up plan. Whatever you do, DO NOT help him clean his room. He must do it himself. Which he won't do because he's a hoarder. He will just fill it up again and then rely on you to rescue him.
Another option: if there is a "next time" he has a medical episode and goes to the hospital, contact their on-staff social worker to explain it would be an "unsafe discharge" to allow him to be released back to the apartment. Do not go to get him. Request that they do a cognitive exam on him and show them pictures of his hoarded room. If they decide to act upon your information they will most likely move to pursue guardianship for him so he can be placed in a facility. How old is your uncle? If you do not have PoA or guardianship for him there will be very little you can do for him legally to help him anyway. I wish you success in protecting yourself in this situation but please don't get sucked into the dilemma he created for himself.
There is no fixing a hoarder other than to get them to a place where they can no longer hoard, no access to items to hoard, a more controlled environment. And during that transition, they will probably need to have some sort of medication to cope with the change, it is very emotionally taxing for a hoarder to lose his hoard. For your uncle's sake, he needs a level of care you cannot provide.
I hope you can the necessary steps for your uncle's wellbeing and to be able to continue to live where you want to live.
Who's on the lease? Both of you or just you?
Uncle I'm moving in 60 days. Here is a phone number for a social worker. I suggest you call & get services to help you;
1. Clean up
2. Find new accomodation
3. Move
Unless you are your Uncle's legal Guardian? In which case, you can call a social worker to assist both of you.
If it was me Hire someone to clean out the room AND then have someone clean it weekly; If your uncle doesn't like it have him move into an assisted living.
cleaning service(s) back to him.