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5 1/2 years ago my husband had his right leg amputated due to diabetes. Since then he has had 2 way heart bypass and been hospitalized twice for cellulitus. He weighs over 350 pounds and is frequently incontinent of bowels and bladder. does he qualify for nursing home care or am I expected to care for him till I am mentally and physically disabled myself

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Who said you give up your assets? Not so. If he goes into a nursing home on Medicaid, only his assets are given up. You stay in your home as long as you live. You keep your SS and some of his too if it is needed to pay bills.
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