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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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@kaiann66 I'm the same way with my mother,but to keep from hurting her feelings and allow her to feel independent,I will let her do some light cooking and just keep a watchful eye.She will sometimes ask me for help and let me know when she can't do any more. I can only imagine what it must be like to go from being an independent person to having someone do everything for you,it can't be easy.
Involve her at the table sitting down. Set it all up there. It is very scary for you, a hot stove. Keep her busy at the table preparing food and let her get tired out that way.
Great suggestions offered already. I have sometimes had to balance Mom's wishing to help with knowing that helping her stand for long periods sometimes makes her so tired that she goes into agitation mode (she has Alzheimer's or some other form of dementia). And I have concerns about her chopping things because she's on coumadin. But if she's up for helping (which isn't all that often), I try to do whatever I can to enable it, as I know she enjoys it for a bit. Not to mention her milk gravy is a heckuva lot better than anything Dad or I make:) I'm reminded to try to come up with more table tasks, though.
Alot of this truly depends on her situation. If she is living alone, and is truly still independent, then this is an critical safety issue and she may need to either move to IL or AL where her meals are taken care of &/or the kitchen situation is more limited and safer for her. Or have a sitter come in daily to monitor her in her home.
If she is living with you, then the watchful eye like bright said is the way to go if you have the time and family &/or a sitter to always be there to be a "spotter" when she's doing things.
My mom lived alone till her early 90's and then I basically had to force her to move to IL. It wasn't pretty but had to be done for her own safety and security. She seemed very capable and cognizant on the surface but there were alot of early dementia related problems going on. She is now 95 and in LTC with Lewy Body Dementia, early level 6.
With her the kitchen issues were all about safety - she would leave the gas on, she couldn't smell it; she would boil water to wash dishes and boil it down to an empty pan and not see that it was empty and super hot, then go to grab it or better yet put water into it in a rush and it would spit up and burn her. She had a dishwasher and electric kettle but wouldn't use it - looking back I realize it was that she couldn't mentally go thru the steps needed to use those appliances. But she was clever in that when she knew we were visiting she would only do cold food or use paper plates and we would go out to eat.
After being there for a summer week, it was apparent she needed to move. She did IL for 3 years - the kitchen was minimal and electric. The IL did lunch and dinner and Sunday brunch - so there was always a good "hot" meal and leftovers. (It's amazing to me just how much they can pack into the seats of those Hugo's.) Every situtation and family is different but things are not going to get better as they age. Good luck.
I'm only 62, but I have such bad arthritis in my knees and back that I can't stand for too long. Same goes for my wife except her arthritis is in her ankles and is very severe. We like to cook and entertain, so we roll around on rolly chairs all around the kitchen! It even makes clean-up at the sink a breeze! Any old office chair works great. The ones they call "steno" chairs are without arms so they seen better that those big "executive" chairs. We have dining chairs for our breakfast table set that roll, and they work also. My favorite is a doctor's exam stool I bought that sits me up nice and high and lets me roll around the kitchen like a hot rod. Hope this helps with your mom.
i take the knobs off the stove when i'm not at home and when i'm cooking i let her come in the kitchen and help by doing thing she can do by sitting down. and she tells anybody that comes to the house she cooked the meal. and to her that's a big deal.
My grandmother even burnt her rope while trying to cook on the gas stove so my dad disconnected the stove. Grandma wanted to be independent but she needed assistance with cooking and maintaining her home. I moved in with her but we had to tell her it was cause I wanted to be out on my own. This way someone was there most of the time and I did the cooking and cleaning. If you are able maybe suggest a live-in caregiver who will help out with cooking and cleaning in exchange for room and board. Your church is a good place to start student in college or nursing student this could be a win win solution to your problem. good luck.
For my 93 year old mother we had to unplug her stove and placed her micro-wave on top of the burners - then supply her with appropriate food she can fix there.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'm the same way with my mother,but to keep from hurting her feelings and allow her to feel independent,I will let her do some light cooking and just keep a watchful eye.She will sometimes ask me for help and let me know when she can't do any more.
I can only imagine what it must be like to go from being an independent person to having someone do everything for you,it can't be easy.
It is very scary for you, a hot stove. Keep her busy at the table preparing food and let her get tired out that way.
I'm reminded to try to come up with more table tasks, though.
and is truly still independent, then this is an critical safety issue and she may need to either move to IL or AL where her meals are taken care of &/or the kitchen situation is more limited and safer for her. Or have a sitter come in daily to monitor her in her home.
If she is living with you, then the watchful eye like bright said is the way to go if you have the time and family &/or a sitter to always be there to be a "spotter" when she's doing things.
My mom lived alone till her early 90's and then I basically had to force her to move to IL. It wasn't pretty but had to be done for her own safety and security. She seemed very capable and cognizant on the surface but there were alot of early dementia related problems going on. She is now 95 and in LTC with Lewy Body Dementia, early level 6.
With her the kitchen issues were all about safety - she would leave the gas on, she couldn't smell it; she would boil water to wash dishes and boil it down to an empty pan and not see that it was empty and super hot, then go to grab it or better yet put water into it in a rush and it would spit up and burn her. She had a dishwasher and electric kettle but wouldn't use it - looking back I realize it was that she couldn't mentally go thru the steps needed to use those appliances. But she was clever in that when she knew we were visiting she would only do cold food or use paper plates and we would go out to eat.
After being there for a summer week, it was apparent she needed to move. She did IL for 3 years - the kitchen was minimal and electric. The IL did lunch and dinner and Sunday brunch - so there was always a good "hot" meal and leftovers. (It's amazing to me just how much they can pack into the seats of those Hugo's.) Every situtation and family is different but things are not going to get better as they age. Good luck.