After seven years in a very lovely assisted living community, first in the retirement facility, then in assisted living, and now in memory care, my mother, whom I visit daily, has suddenly begun wanting to "go home". She will be ninety-nine this fall, and while up until recently we would take her out frequently for visits, walks, etc., she is no longer mobile, and moving her is very difficult. I try to take her outdoors in her transport chair when the weather permits, and she seems to enjoy this. Today, however, after I'd visited with her for an hour, she accused me of wanting to "get rid of" her when I got ready to leave. I let her caregivers know, and they said she'd been telling them this morning that she wanted to "go home". I left in tears; I don't know how to deal with this, and my siblings live in other parts of the country. Does anyone have any wise suggestions as to how to make Mom happier? Thank you.
Must you absolutely visit her every day? I found that visiting my mom every day made her worse. She saved all her vitriol and fired it at me when I walked in. Then when I’d turn to walk out, she’d burst into tears and plead with me to stay. I could have crawled out through the keyhole. I discovered that if I did not go every day, she began going to bingo and to the other activities the facility offered. If your mom is reducing you to tears, it’s time to step back, at ,east for a while. She will be fine, really. Mine was.
https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/terminal-illness/preparing/what-to-expect#top