I am 29 and I live under the same roof with both of my parents (72 and 73) and my two children (9 and 11). I am home full time with all of them and I am a full time student. I make dinner 7 nights a week, and lunch several times a week. No one else cooks, but they sure do bring their negative attitudes to the table for every meal. Lately nothing I make is good enough, and I have to hear them whine like children at every meal. Its hard to feel happy about cooking for them when they just treat me like crap. Ive asked that my parents leave on Fridays so I can clean the house and enjoy myself by listening to music while doing it. They never leave and Im stuck cleaning up after them in silence like a maid, which makes it a really daunting task that I never look forward to, plus the house never gets fully clean because they are always in my way or making messes where I have just cleaned. I do all of the yard work and repairs to the house, as well as keep all electronics in working order for both of them. My dad has early onset dementia and my mother has what I believe to be untreated bipolar disorder. My dad is fine usually but does have aggressive rages every so often(rare and always aimed at my mother), usually his problem is forgetting to do important self care, which I can help him with. My mother is angry all the time and walks the house trying to get one of us to argue with her. Today, she started an argument with me because I used a trash bag, to put trash in, when I was cleaning my childrens room with them.... I pretty much lost it. We aren't poor, we can afford trash bags, and im going to use them whenever I please. Im tired of living around someone who hates everyone and everything. Its depressing and exhausting. But if I left, one of them would end up in a nursing home very quickly, which I know they dont want and I dont want that for them either. This is just a snippet of our home life.... but does anyone have any tactics, ideas, or words that might help me see the light? Sometimes I just want to leave and never come back.
Your primary responsibility is to your children, not your parents. If your mother is bipolar and your father has early onset dementia, you are putting yourself and your children on a rollercoaster for the foreseeable future. Is that fair? Is that good parenting?
Your parents need a plan. And that may include a nursing home and/or memory care facility. Do you have durable power of attorney? If no, get it before your parents become incapable of signing. If they refuse to give it to you, it is a terrible idea for you to take responsibility for them without having the authority.
You have a lot to think about because children are involved. Their needs must come first.
As for the meals, you can try to plan meals together for the week so that everyone gets some input. If that doesn't help, and anyone complains, tell them to cook for themselves.
Why are you not gainfully employed?