My Mom is 87 years old and is in assisted living. She has dementia. She hates where she is and would like to live with me and my husband. She calls both me and my husband names consistently and blames me for having to live in assisted living. I have a lot of guilt over the fact that she is not living with me but know in my heart it would not be possible. I don't know how to help any more. She seems to be more upset when I see her because she knows she has to go back. I have no family support even though there are three siblings. Nobody wants to help. My husband is the only one that helps her along with myself. Mom calls my husband names constantly and tells him he is a drunk. I am sure if My Mom moved in with us, my marriage would be over. Am I wrong to take a stand for my marriage? Am I still honoring my Mother?
You aren't dishonoring your mom in any way. Honoring her doesn't mean taking her verbal abuse and allowing her to treat your husband like a dog. A man and woman leaves their home to become one in marriage. Your husband comes first. You know in your heart that the AL is the best place for her and you. Don't go so often. Limit the trips out is this is upsetting her. Stand firm. You can do this.