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My father has Alzheimer's. He is white and has recently started spewing racist insults at his caregiver(s). I never heard him use racist language earlier in his life. He was born in the 1920s; I assume this is our collective unconscious speaking.



How common is it for caregivers of color to experience racism of this nature from those with dementia? Are you familiar with this phenomena personally? Are there studies or writings on this topic? I'd like to learn more. Thank you.

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Find Teepa Snow on YouTube.

She talks about this very common phenomenon.

When we are young, we were taught that “forbidden words” and “forbidden speech” (curse words, racial slurs) were wrong. That information is stored in the brain.

With dementia, that particular parts of the brain is one of the parts that dies. Picture a rock with a portion chiseled off. No matter how we want our Loved Ones to “behave”, that portion of the rock (brain) is no longer there. It can’t “learn”, or “do better”.

I’m sorry this is happening to your father, and to you.
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Sylvia51 Nov 2022
Thanks for turning me on to Teepa Snow
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If someone is already a racist then the inhibitions that would allow that person to understand how wrong they are, and to hide their feelings, are not there in dementia. So their racism will be loud and vocal often enough.
When I complained of a racist patient to an old Irish nurse one day she observed "Things change one coffin at a time". Sorry, but that's the truth.
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Many words that are considered racial slurs did not start out that way. Do the research.

Personally, I think a good caregiver takes the situation with a grain of salt. Seniors say all kinds of crazy stuff.

Believe it or not, white people aren't the only race that use racial slurs towards others. Some of the biggest racists I have ever met don't have white skin.

This question seems like someone writing a paper or something. A dad born in 1920 is NOT 100 years old.
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MJ1929 Nov 2022
By what math is someone born in 1920 not 100 years old?

The OP said he was born in the 1920s, not 1920.
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Dad suddenly liked Obama when his black caregivers expressed their admiration for him. Before that, he said he couldn’t stand him and would never vote for him. So it can also work in reverse.
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My 101-yr old Aunt never said racist stuff when I was living with her as a kid for 20 years -- but she sure does now. Yikes. Tells people they're fat, or something about their hairstyle, tattoos, LGBTQ+... anything can trigger her comments. I do agree she heard plenty of that talk in much of her life, so it was suppressed away in her brain, and now dementia means she can no longer hold it back.

I always warn people wherever she is taken (most recently the medical clinic) that she might blurt. I've never had anyone (a nurse, an aid, a banker of color or other ethnicity) ever not take it into their stride, thankfully.

Redirecting and distracting is what seems to work best for us. When I see "that look" in her eye that she's about to say something regretable, I will often physically stand right in front of her blocking her view and gently poke her in the chest so that she looks down and then follows by arm up to my face and then I start talking about something random.
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Sylvia51 Nov 2022
thank you!
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Dementia removes filters. Everyone my 200 lb mother saw was "fat," and she went full racist in her talk. She was never racist in her life.

To be fair, though, your dad and my mom were products of their times. They aren't racists, per se, but their way of talking isn't appropriate these days.
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https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.agingcare.com/articles/amp/155103
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My mother started making comments about people's race, size and sexual preference. She had no filter and some of the comments were very hurtful, especially to family members. She is kind most of the time and these comments have been reduced (thankfully) but I still don't feel comfortable having some people around her. I know she can't change but I also don't think people need to be exposed to toxic comments constantly.
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Laugh. 😆 The elder is the one needing help, not the caregiver.
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My friend's mother had dementia, and my friend enrolled her in adult day care. When it was time to pick her up, Mother came out, got in the car and said, "I'm never going back there." Friend asked why. Mother said, "I danced with a black man. My grandmother would never approve that." Friend said, "Well, your grandmother is long gone, and you don't have any problem with dancing with him, do you? Mother said, "No, but I'm not going back." Friend and Mother had no history of being racist or prejudiced, but the teaching of long ago was apparently at the forefront of Mother's mind, much to my friend's dismay. (And, I should add, Mother was 1/4 Cherokee. Have no idea which grandmother gave her that instruction. Mother was born in 1910.)
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